10 Days to Feel Great!

10 Days to Feel Great!

It’s not always easy to decide what is best or which path to take.

One of Louise Hay’s favorite affirmations is:
Trust in Life. It will bring you all that you need.

Throughout her writings, she reminds us that the key to trusting in Life is to love and accept yourself as you are and to never stop learning.

You can experience peace, trust and joy every day by doing these three simple things:

  1. feel great, hay house world summit 2014Love yourself
  2. Learn continuously
  3. Help others

Wouldn’t you like to feel more…

  • Loved and appreciated
  • Happy and fulfilled
  • Excited about your life
  • Trust that Life will take care of you
  • Worthy and deserving of having all you want
  • Connected to your loved ones
  • Energetic and youthful
  • Supported by the Universe
  • In control of your life

Let’s find out what’s really holding you back from feeling exactly the way you want.

Here’s a quick exercise to help you uncover your hidden beliefs that could be getting in the way of your health and happiness:

Ask: How do I feel about myself?

Write all of your thoughts on paper and read them out loud.

How many were positive?
How many were negative?

Don’t get caught up in judging how many thoughts were negative.  Just being aware of the negative beliefs you hold inside is very powerful!

And you know what’s even more powerful?  Turning all of those negative beliefs into positive statements.

For example, take this negative thought:  “I’ll never make enough money.” 

And try saying this instead: “I always have everything I need.” Or “I always have more than enough.”  Or “I make plenty of money.” Use whichever positive statement resonates with you.

Guess what happens once you change your thoughts and truly love and accept yourself?

Good things start happening because you feel good about yourself.

But, it’s easier said than done, right? It’s often difficult to know how to get started.

We can help you take the first step. The techniques, lessons and insightful new thinking we are sharing this year in the Hay House World Summit is exactly what you need to feel better about yourself and to feel more connected, more loved and more at peace so that you can attract more GOOD into your life!

Even if you don’t have time to listen to every speaker each day, you can choose one speaker or topic that interests you and make the most out of that lesson. You’ll be amazed how much can change just from one lesson!

Register now for the Hay House World Summit and start learning new ways to feel loved, worthy and valuable!

You might be thinking you’ve heard it all already or the World Summit might work for other people, but won’t help you. Guess what? Those are all the types of thoughts you need to be aware of and ask yourself, are these thoughts really true?

We all have unique stories and circumstances that shape our lives, but the path to peace and happiness is always the same: learn, love and help others. It’s really that simple.

Beginning May 31st through June 9th, come along with us for a heart opening journey in discovering new healing methods, exploring your creative side, igniting your passion and feeling better than you ever imagined!

10 Days to Feel Great!  

When things go wrong … (part 1)

When things go wrong …

when things go wrongIt’s a while since I wrote a ‘proper’ post. That’s because I have been on holiday – yay!!!

I don’t get to go on holiday so much these days, for various reasons. My last holiday was over 2 years ago. Due to health challenges, it can be physically difficult, not to mention the budgetary requirements. So when I received some offers to visit friends and family in Spain, I appreciated and gratefully accepted the invitations.

I hired a car. For the amount I travel these days, buses and taxis as I needed them would probably have been more cost-effective, and the buses in Spain are very reliable, comfortable and inexpensive, although the bus-stops can be a fair distance to walk to. So I figured the convenience of having a car at my disposal, even for short journeys to the shops and the beach, as I can’t walk very far without pain, would make my holiday more pleasant as I would be less likely to overdo things and end up wasting a week or more of my 3-week holiday in bed in pain.

The first week of my holiday was in Torrox. It was lovely to spend time with my cousin, who had moved out to Spain about 8 years ago, shortly after I had taken her there on holiday. The weather was bright and sunny, but quite windy, which made it too chilly for sun-bathing. In bed at night, I could hear the Mediterranean ocean lapping against the shore, so soothing.

almunecar
Marianne’s terrace, Almunecar

Then I moved on to Almunecar, where I stayed with my Swedish friend, Marianne, who I had met about 6 years ago whilst visiting a friend who was care-taking the villa next door to her and her husband Luis. We had got along so well, we remained friends and kept in touch, despite the generation gap. Marianne is 70 years of age, however you would not think it to see how she looks after her fruit garden and walks down her big hill into town to shop almost every day. This was my 3rd visit to Marianne since our first meeting, and the first time Luis would be absent. Sadly, Luis had passed away in December. Luis was Spanish. His wonderful flamenco guitar-playing and singing was sadly missed.

Luis had often talked about his favourite restaurant, El Capricho, in the village of Otivar, where they make a dish called Pollo a la Manzana (chicken cooked with apple), which he described as ‘the best chicken in the world’. Although Otivar is not far from Almunecar, it is inland along some hilly, winding tracks, and the buses to and from there are few and far between, so a visit by car would be easier. I didn’t get the chance to go there while Luis was alive, as he and Marianne do not own a car in Spain, so I felt it would be a fitting tribute to take Marianne there on this visit.

I asked Marianne if she could call to make a reservation, as was recommended on their website. I felt my Spanish language skills were a bit rusty. She said there was no need: a reservation is only necessary for large parties. When we got there, however, the Spanish waiter told Marianne we needed to make a reservation in advance to order the chicken, they had no extras available. I gave Marianne a mischievous smile, but before we had chance to be disappointed, a lady came out from the kitchen and told the waiter that the party of 27 coming in had just called to cancel one place. Haha this was so funny: whether it was my intention that I was going to have that chicken, or Marianne’s assurance that we didn’t need to order it, either way by the Law of Attraction (or perhaps with the divine help of Angel Luis) we did get our chicken. As there was only one portion we had to share it, however that was plenty for the two of us; Marianne said that when they had a portion each, they would take half home in a doggy-bag. Indeed it was the juiciest, most succulent, tasty chicken I ever had. We raised a toast to Luis and followed the chicken with Creme Caramel and a cafe con leche. Bless you Luis!

Marianne took me to some of the best tapas bars in Almunecar. Tapas vary from place to place. In Nerja, for example, you usually need to sit at the bar with your drink and you choose which tapa you would like from the tapas cabinet along the bar. In Almunecar, however, you can even sit outside with your drink and they bring a tapa to you automatically, for free, without your asking. You never know what you will get, it could be anything from a dish of deep-fried baby octopus to a ham and cheese toasted sandwich or mini cheeseburger. I have rarely been disappointed with the quality of tapas. I have wondered how the Spanish make enough profits to survive when they provide you with a glass of wine or beer and some delicious food for less than 2 euros; I am certain it is their innate generosity that ensures they always have enough.

heartsAs we sat at a tapas bar on the beach, I glanced down towards my feet (actually I think I was trying to shelter my phone underneath the table so I could see the screen to use the camera), and I spotted a little stone shaped like a heart. Two of my favourite things are to look for hearts every day, and also to look for pretty little beach pebbles to bring back from Spain (I have quite a collection now). I consider hearts to be my little messages from the angels saying ‘We’re with you, we love you, you’re OK’.

Then on my fifth and final evening at Marianne’s she went to a dish of pebbles in her conservatory and pulled out a purple ceramic heart and gave it to me, to end a lovely visit.

The following day I moved onto the next, and supposed to be final, leg of my visit to Spain. This was where things went drastically awry. After a somewhat pleasant day, suddenly, in the evening, without warning, one of my hosts (I don’t feel any identification is appropriate or necessary here) began verbally attacking me over something so trivial: my attempt to get the wifi working on my little netbook appeared to be affecting the TV reception. I shut down my computer, but in the minute it took for it to shut down their irritation had escalated into a rage. My attempt to defuse the matter by saying I couldn’t shut it down any quicker and was this really any reason to get so angry, did not work and they said they didn’t want me there anyway. At which point I did the human thing and became upset and angry myself and began arguing back. Not that I wanted to stay – I don’t want to stay anywhere I don’t feel comfortable or welcome, but to try to understand why this argument was even happening. Realising this was not going to change or fix the situation – some people’s behaviour can not be understood, especially in the heat of the moment – I headed off to pack my bags.

His verbal onslaught was not a short-lived one. He continued to scream at me. In the 30 minutes or so it took me to pack, due to my shaking with shock and anger, and not able to close my case for some time without bouncing on it, I could hear him screaming at his partner, who was trying to defend me and telling him how unreasonable he was being. His answer to her was “If you don’t like it, you can get out too (although in much stronger language)”. When I came back down the stairs, he screamed at me again until I was out the door.

I loaded my suitcase into my car, and sat in the driver’s seat. At this point, I was struck with the shock of it all. I was in a foreign country, I didn’t know anywhere or anyone else in this town, I spoke little of the language, and it was after 11pm. The worst shock of all was that someone I liked and trusted had let me down like this. My body was immobilised for some time apart from the tears falling down my face …

What was I going to do now?

Read Part 2 here

When things go wrong …

 

The problem is not the problem…

The problem is not the problem…

problem, solution, attitude, problem-solvingProblems are a part of life. They have accompanied us since birth, and will continue to do so until the twilight of our lives. But this is no reason to get upset. In fact, the thought that problems happen to absolutely everyone should come as a welcome relief.

Problems are not the result of being a bad or good person. They happen to good and bad people alike. Sometimes, even despite our best judgements and careful planning, challenges still occur in the most unexpected circumstances.

It can be easy to look around and think other people do not have problems. This is not true; they have just mastered the art of dealing with them effectively and moving more quickly towards the solution. They often recognise there are opportunities to be realised.

“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?”
Captain Jack Sparrow

Here are some tips to conquer your problems:

Trace the root of the problem.

The best way to start finding a solution to a problem is to try to figure out how the problem started in the first place. If you find yourself lost in the middle of the road, the chances are that you took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. This is why you need to go back, retrace your steps, and discover where you have gone wrong. This way you would be able to figure out which way you should go, which roads to avoid, and how to get there.

From this, you will learn how to make more effective decisions in the future.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Little problems are best dealt with by giving them a shrug of the shoulder. Having a bad hair day or breaking a nail is not reason enough to break into fits of hysteria. Sure, it is annoying; but get over it! People will be surprised how a little change in their attitude can go a long way in solving their problems.

In fact, a lot of problems people are facing will dissolve if they only change their attitude. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of their lives, and being so cynical, they should instead try to make the best out of every situation. If you are not satisfied with the situation you are in, you should strive to make some positive changes in your life.

When I find myself worrying about some things, I ask myself, “Will this matter in a year/week/day’s time?”. When I hear back the answer ‘No’, it is much easier to let go of the worry and think “This too shall pass”, making space in my head for a solution to manifest, if one is needed.

Confront your problems.

Not confronting problems can lead to bigger issues. Before problems can be solved, they must first be dealt with. For example, a person pretending not to be sick when he very well knows that he is suffering from an illness will not help him solve this problem. In fact, this will only make the situation much worse, if he refuses to seek out the medical attention that he needs.

The problem with choosing to ignore problems is that they can lead to bigger problems. Some who choose to escape their problems may turn to alcohol, drugs, or other self-destructive behaviours simply because they want to avoid the problems they are encountering. This, in turn, becomes a part of the problem. Instead of finding a solution, they find bigger problems.

Ask for help.

Strength comes in numbers. One of the best ways to quickly solve a problem is to ask for help. This is where friends and family come in. Not only will they be physically able to help you, they can also be a source of emotional help as well. Not only that, they would be able to throw in some ideas that just might be the key to finding the solution to your problem!

Having some problems does not mean that it is the end of the world. It just means that you are going to have to work hard at finding the solutions to your problems. By going through this process, not only will you solve your problems, but you can gain a lot of knowledge and wisdom along the way!

The problem is not the problem…

No News Is Good News

No News Is Good News

no news is good news, turn off the news, negative messages, positive thinkingDid you watch the news on television today? Did you hear it on the radio? Did you happen to listen to your favourite talk radio show today? Watch a movie? A soap opera? A ‘reality’ TV show? Read a celebrity gossip magazine? Do you feel good because of it?

What effect do these things have on us in our daily lives? Do they invoke a positive mental attitude? Probably not. The problem with the media in most formats today is that it is comprised of every negative image and idea that exists and is yet to exist.

Even a lot of the comedy shows have a negative message. Why is this?

How do we balance these negative messages in our lives? How do we counter the crap that is being fed to us? Do we immerse ourselves in motivational books and tapes? If not, maybe we should.

The healthy function of our minds is dependent upon input. If the only, or majority, input that we have is negative, our output can tend to be negative as well. Garbage in, garbage out. My grandmother used to warn me that the type of people that I surrounded myself with is the type of person I would become. She was right to a great degree. It is also true that the type of materials to which we expose our minds is the type of thinking that we will practice in our daily lives. Perhaps you question that logic, but let me go on.

When the mainstream media has been confronted in the past about the content of their shows, they claim that just because you watch a violent film, you won’t become violent. This may be true, but as you continuously immerse yourself in violent content, you begin to become numb to the violence itself. You also absorb messages about living in a fearful world.

Such as that is, the more negative the constant input in your life, the harder it becomes to be positive or think positive thoughts. As a creative individual, I often need a bit of inspiration in my daily life. To get this inspiration, I look at other writers work. After a while I am influenced by what I have seen to create my own work.

The same can be said for a positive attitude. If we reach a point in our day when we feel like we can’t go on with our work, sometimes all we need is a bit of inspiration to get back on track. Often this inspiration gives us that “a-ha” moment that we need to get back on the rails.

Now I am not saying that you should have a constant diet of positive attitude books and CD’s. There are other things that can reinforce us in our daily tasks. Aside from personal development materials, there is also the development of our business or our skills. This type of information can be found in books, magazines, on cd, dvd, cassette tapes or the internet.

Often when we learn more about our work and how to do it better, we are more successful at performing necessary tasks. This success in itself is empowering and can lead to a more positive attitude.

I switched off my television several months ago, and it has only been switched on rarely, maybe three times in as many months, if I have heard about a nature or science documentary that sounds interesting to watch. Instead of watching TV, I have read lots of books, worked on my blog and other writing projects, completed internet video courses on promotion and marketing, self-publishing, and setting up a YouTube channel. I have listened to lots of webinars about natural health and wellbeing, and if I have wanted some light entertainment, I have found funny or uplifting films to watch online. I don’t even miss watching TV anymore (I think I shall see about cancelling my TV license and saving some money into the bargain).

In actual fact, during this period of restricting the invitation of negativity into my life, I have found that I have become more sensitive to it when it happens, like it insults my brain and my soul. I would catch snippets of the news on the radio in my car, and would feel the impact on my energy level so much that I have learned to quickly hit the radio knob to OFF when the news comes on, and so far I know I have not missed anything that I really needed to know, nothing that has had any direct influence on my life.

It doesn’t have to be all work and mental stimulation. Stopping watching TV allows you more time to engage in outside activities, like walks in nature, exercise or social groups. When you become more aware of, and focus on and appreciate the beauty and positivity all around you, which was there all the time, you just didn’t notice it, it becomes easier to practise positive thinking.

As we go through our day we should try to be aware of the influences that our surroundings are having on us. We should be careful to monitor the types of input that we are getting and balance it with as much positive material as possible. In doing this not only can we feel better about ourselves and our world, but we will also be more productive and feel happier at the same time.

No News Is Good News

The difference between negative and challenging people

The difference between negative and challenging people

negative challenging people, negative people, challenging peopleWe all have people in our lives who don’t agree with us, as well as those who do. I have seen it suggested that we are the average of the 5 people we spend most time with.

Of course, people we really don’t like or don’t get on with, we will try to spend less time with. I wrote a post just the other day about how to avoid negative people. You can read it HERE if you like.

But can we learn something from people we don’t like? And is there a difference between negative people and challenging individuals?

In my opinion, the difference is this: negative people are the ones that you feel really drained after spending time with them, whereas challenging people can make you think about something a different way, however you may feel pumped up from adrenaline coursing through your body.

Negative people are often just grumpy, and what they moan and complain about often isn’t worth remembering. However, challenging people can cause a personal shift in you, they may discuss something you will ponder on later, whether or not you agree with them at the time.

We have friends who we get on well with, who we really enjoy being around, who make us feel good. But if all of our friends were like that, we probably wouldn’t experience much personal growth. We would lack the motivation to grow and develop because we would be surrounded by people telling us just how wonderful we are. Think about a world like that – wouldn’t we become stagnant and bored?

I went to a personal development seminar a while ago and the speaker asked, “Are you the most dynamic person amongst your group of friends?”. He gave us a moment to ponder our answer, then added, “If so, change your friends!”.

Challenging people can be really worth having around. They get us mentally stimulated: they allow for debate whose way is better? It doesn’t necessarily mean any one way is better, but when we look at the bigger picture, we can become more open-minded, more accepting that everyone is different and lives the way that suits them. They may suggest something that resonates with us, that feels like a better way to live that we hadn’t considered before. We may choose to accept or reject their way of life, but either way we will gain an insight into why they behave or think like they do.

My personal belief is that challenging people are meant to cross our paths for a reason. It is up to us to recognise that, and ask ourselves, “What can I learn from this person?”.

They may be more or less successful in life than we are. Status is something that, I believe, is a very subjective perspective, but as we are human, we all have our own view. We place ourselves on a ‘rank’ by comparing ourselves to others. Ideally, we wouldn’t, but we do.

We will meet people who we consider to be inferior to ourselves: drug addicts, homeless vagrants, criminals, people who don’t have a lot of money, or anything inbetween them and where we see ourselves. What can we learn from them? We can learn compassion, we can learn how some people try to survive the worst circumstances in life, we can learn how to protect ourselves, we can learn that other people do the best they can through surviving often horrific childhood or adulthood experiences, we can learn how to help, we can learn humility. We can learn that some people can have a happy life, regardless of how little money they have, or how outward appearances may indicate.

We will meet people who we consider to be superior in ‘rank’ to ourselves: entrepreneurs, millionaires, people who can afford nice things in life, can provide more for their families, or anything inbetween them and where we see ourselves. What can we learn from them? We can learn what it took for them to achieve what they did, we can learn mindset skills, we can learn about drive and determination. We will often learn that they suffered failures and setbacks, and how they overcame them. We can learn how to make a positive contribution with the success that we can achieve. We can learn that some people will have a miserable life, regardless of how much money they have, or how outward appearances may indicate.

I have someone in my life who always belittled my ideas about what I wanted to do with my life. “I’m going to go to uni and get my degree” (I was a single parent at the time), response “No, you can’t do that”, or “I’m going to start my own business”, again the response “No, you can’t do that”, and many other ideas along the way. I’m pleased to say my drive to succeed was increased, and I achieved what I set out to do simply by trying to prove to myself that I could, and to prove them wrong. They were probably one of my best motivators.

It is said, and I believe it, that ‘Lessons are repeated until they are learned’. If there is something that would be of benefit to us, and we don’t recognise it when we see it, we will continue to meet people who can provide the lesson. If you keep having the same kind of challenging person crossing your path, then there is a message and a lesson in it for you, it’s up to you how long you take to learn it.

From my experience, the most important thing I have learned from challenging people is this: from the pauper living on the streets, to the queen living in the palace, every person has their own valid and valuable reason for being included in this life experience, and as such, the ‘ranks’ become irrelevant.

It helps also to remember that YOU will be the challenging person in somebody else’s life, whether you intend to be or not. You probably don’t see this yourself, because you are not them, looking at yourself from their perspective. Aim to be constructive, without being too harshly critical, in your dealings with others. That way you can prevent yourself from being a ‘negative’.

Can we learn anything from plain grumpy, negative people? You know the kind, the ones that really don’t see how blessed they are. The ones that you can say ‘Isn’t it a beautiful day?’ to and they answer with ‘Not really, it’s forecast rain later’. Of course we can. We can learn patience, we can learn to be grateful we’re not them, and then we can learn to move swiftly away.

The difference between negative and challenging people

Life is like an onion, you gotta peel back the layers

Life is like an onion

Life is like an onion, peel back the layers, subconsciousWhen you decide that you are not satisfied with your life as it is, and resolve that you want to change it, the most important part of changing your life lies in changing your thoughts, which have created your beliefs, and thus influence your actions.

You have to free yourself from the mental bondage which is holding you where are you.

Positive thinking and affirmation will go a long way towards changing your mindset, but for some it just doesn’t feel ‘true’, and when that happens you create resistance. It’s no good affirming to yourself ‘I am abundant in all areas of my life’ if your head is saying ‘Well that’s bullshit!’.

So what causes your head to resist positive affirmation? The memories that have stored themselves in the layers of your subconscious. So why would your subconscious do this to you? Surely it should help you and work for your benefit? Well, it actually believes it is doing just that. It tries to stop you from being hurt or disappointed again.

You can positively affirm all you like. It’s a great start. But it took time to develop your current mindset, and to change or improve it could take a long time too, because your subconscious will try to keep protecting you and nag you to do what it’s always done.

A bit like having a stain on your carpet: you could cover it with a rug or a plant pot. But you will always know the stain is there, and every so often you will trip up on the rug or the plant pot. Using this analogy, you can’t go out and buy a new carpet (buy a new mind). The only way to cure the problem is to get that stain removed, and it may take a lot of scrubbing.

Like an onion, our subconscious has created layers. Something happened when we were a child to make us have a reactive emotion. Sometime later another incident happens that reinforces that feeling. We accept it as the way we are. We come to believe that thought, feeling, emotion is ‘normal’ for us.

The layers build as we get older, and the thoughts, beliefs and resulting actions shape our lives. They become part of our substance. Then by accepting the thoughts as true, we attract further evidence to support the belief; thoughts like ‘That always happens to me’, ‘I’m just unlucky’, ‘I always get hurt’.

Life IS abundant. It is only our resistance to that belief that pushes abundance away.

To truly heal your subconscious, involves doing some self-inquiry as to why you might think a thought.

Think of the most recent incident that caused a thought. For instance, you didn’t get a promotion at work or you lost your job. Your first thoughts may be, ‘I’m not good enough’, or ‘They didn’t appreciate me, even though I worked really hard’.

Then look for more instances where you might have had that same thought. It could be something like you having cooked a new recipe up, and your partner saying ‘Yeah it was OK’, or ‘I’m not really keen on that (ingredient), or not offering any positive feedback. Or maybe you’ve made a mistake with something and you thought ‘It’s no good, I’m just not good enough. I’ve failed’.

You need to really peel back the layers. Go back as far as you can. As with peeling an onion, there will be tears. It will be painful. You may fight with your subconscious much of the way. It’s trying to protect you. It will bury the thoughts even deeper. It doesn’t want you to feel hurt.

You may find it takes you back to a very young age, probably before the age of seven, which is when most of our downloading and programming took place, as our brain was working in theta brainwave state (the state used for learning, and also for hypnosis), so we soaked it all up like a sponge. It could have been something we may consider as relatively harmless, e.g. you draw a lovely picture for mum, she’s busy on the phone, or cooking dinner, or just generally tired from ‘being mum’ all day. She says “Not now, can’t you see I’m busy/tired”. To a child, this can be programmed as ‘I’m not important’, ‘I did something nice, and she doesn’t even want it’. Perhaps you did something naughty as a child, or were mistaken for being naughty (as many ‘normal’ children do!), and were sent to your room with words like, ‘You’re not having dessert, you don’t deserve it’.

Then comes the important bit: you need to practise forgiveness on every aspect you uncover. You need to peel and heal every layer.

A wonderful technique for this is called ‘ho’oponopono’. It is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness.

It consists of 4 statements:

  • I love you.
  • I’m sorry.
  • Please forgive me.
  • Thank you.

On every aspect you uncover, say these like a mantra. Even better if you can just use them as a meditation. Relax with some soothing music and repeat the mantra over and over. You don’t have to always be thinking of something or someone specifically, although it is powerful if you do. You can address the mantra to another person, to yourself, to your younger self/child. You are addressing this more to your own subconscious, letting it know it is safe to release those thoughts now.

Find ho’oponopono manuals at Amazon.com

Find ho’oponopono manuals at Amazon.co.uk

My personal favourites are Cosmic Ordering: The Next Step by Barbel Mohr and anything by Dr Joe Vitale.

Life is like an onion

How’s that working for ya?

newday“If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.”
Albert Einstein

Do you ever feel stuck or stagnant in life? Like you’re pedalling and pedalling as fast as you can, but feel like you’re on a stationary exercise bike and getting nowhere.

Do you sometimes feel like you can’t get away from stress? Drama seems to follow you everywhere.

Have you ever taken the time to really look at how you act or react in situations? Do you see a pattern? Do you hear the same thought pattern going on in your mind, and respond to it, even if it doesn’t feel good and you see the same result come from your response?

Here’s the thing – most of our thoughts are the same thoughts we thought yesterday and the day before and the day before that. And they’re not even our own natural thoughts, we inherited them, they were passed on to us, usually by parents or teachers, and often before the age of 7, when our brain was operating mostly in the theta brain wave frequency, the state responsible for learning, and the state used by hypnotists as that is how our subconscious becomes programmed.

Then every time in our lives when we have relied on and used a particular thought, we have strengthened and reinforced it, so it became even more automatic and more powerful. It then influences the actions that we take.

If you want to know how your thoughts are working for you, look at what you’re getting in your life. Your life is not happening TO you, it is showing you what you are thinking, what your programming is.

The good news is – you can re-program your mind. The way to do that is to look at the parts of your life that don’t work for your highest good, examine your thoughts in that area and consciously make changes. It only needs a few small changes to start with, and if those changes make you feel even slightly better, that’s a good indication you are moving in the right direction. Add more small changes to the mix, and they will have a compounding effect, enabling you to think improved thoughts about your situation. The improved thoughts then change your actions.

Tony Robbins is one of the, if not THE, world’s best motivational and transformational teachers of changing your habits to improve your life.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
– Albert Einstein

Improve Your Relationships By Loving Yourself

love-yourselfMany of us, especially women, tend to put others’ needs before our own. We neglect ourselves and eventually resent those who have been on the receiving end of our love and attention. What we fail to realise is the importance of putting ourselves first. No, it is not selfish. In fact, it’s impossible to meet the needs of others effectively without first being balanced in our own lives. Loving yourself will not only prove to be a positive experience, but it will improve your relationships with others as well.

If we go through our days neglecting our basic needs, we will become very quickly drained of our energy, too exhausted to spend any time on ourselves. When we realise that our own needs are not being met, we become resentful and ultimately withdraw the help and support we so freely offered to others before. However, by focusing on putting ourselves first, we can regain that lost energy, which will give us endless vitality to direct toward others.

Loving and taking better care of yourself is easy if you implement one or more of the simple helpful tips and ideas listed here. When we are happy with the level of attention we are giving ourselves, our energy overflows and we are anxious to help fulfil the needs of those around us. Everyone wins when we learn to love ourselves. Use the following tips to get you started:

Live a healthy lifestyle – How can we expect to accomplish great things if we cannot meet life’s most basic needs? Eat healthy by replacing excess sugar and refined foods with whole foods and lots of water. Give your body the ability to effectively burn the fuel you take in by getting daily exercise, thereby increasing your metabolism. Make sure to get plenty of sleep as well, as our minds do not fully function if they haven’t been allowed to properly recharge themselves.

Express yourself – One of the best ways to take care of ourselves mentally is by frequently expressing how we feel. This can be done in several ways. Mentally, we can express ourselves on paper. Keeping a personal journal in which you can vent when needed will help keep emotions in check. Creative expression is important too, such as allowing yourself to feel and experience the wide range of emotions in a rented movie, or by working on a hobby that’s close to your heart.  Photography and other visual arts are good for this. Remember, expressing ourselves creatively is as important as doing so mentally.

Spend some time alone – In order to appreciate ourselves more, we should get to know ourselves better. Some of you may think this will have the reverse effect, but think positively! You would be surprised what becoming introspective will reveal. Discover yourself and learn to love it. Go for a scenic drive. Take a long bath. Surround yourself with music or just quietly meditate. Not only will you appreciate your own company more, but the relaxation will do wonders for your state of mind. Your relationships are sure to improve if others sense your renewed energy and love of life.

Pamper yourself – Finally, take the time to treat yourself to something rewarding. Get a massage, a manicure, or tickets to your favourite sporting event. Show yourself you care about your own happiness by creating more of it in your life. By allowing yourself to enjoy the spotlight now and again, you’ll realize the goodness others feel when you are able to help them.

What helps you to recharge your batteries? Do more of that and everybody benefits 🙂

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

― Howard Thurman

 

How To Use The Power Of A Smile

just-sending-out-a-small-to-whoever-may-need-one-today-smile-quoteHave you ever noticed how the word “smile” assumes the position of a smile on your face right after it has been pronounced?

The same is true with a grin or a grouch.

Many of the words in the English language or perhaps in other languages of the world assume the facial expressions of the person pronouncing them. Perhaps this is how words came into existence.

What kind of difference can a smile make? In spite of its simplicity and spontaneity, a smile can make all the difference. It creates an atmosphere.

Admittedly, a frown can likewise create an atmosphere. The question now is this: “Which is more preferable?”. An atmosphere of dissent brought about by frowning can bring conflict and unfriendliness, while a smile can create unity and camaraderie. A frown can actually attract more stress to your life, whereas a smile will attract more peaceful interactions with others, so reducing overall stress in life.

A smile is contagious. When you project a smile, the other person can’t help but smile back at you. Throw a smile to a baby, and there’s a big chance the baby will smile back at you. Because of your smile, the baby starts to be playful at you even if you are a stranger to him. When a baby starts to be playful, you just can’t resist playing with him. Then he begins to laugh and giggle. You make the baby happy; you make yourself happy too. And to think all these started with a simple smile. If all these take place in a doctor’s office, chances are that you will forget why you are there in the first place. A smile can erase the pain, especially emotional and psychological pain.

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.  ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

smileadorableIf you want to make a good impression, smiling is your best option. You can sport all those expensive things on your body. You may be rich and famous. But if you sport a sour face, you’ll get the same treatment in return, as sour as vinegar.

A smile is worth more than words. A smile is a universal language expressed in the form of a gesture that greets and welcomes other people. When someone smiles at you, especially at a time you least expect it, you will get overwhelmed and you will return the favour.

Try walking into a shop where a frown from the owner or assistant awaits you. Before you know it, you are heading back to the door where you came from. It’s as if your legs have a mind of their own. This is the reason why it is important that your sales people (if you are in the sales business) wear smiles on their faces all the time. This is the best way to attract more customers. Make smiling the trademark of your business. Show it in your company logo and watch your business grow, just like all the other businesses using it. A smile also works over the telephone: I used to work in customer services, and I quickly figured out that when I answered a call with a smile on my face, the customer contact and experience would be much easier and more friendly. The smile was palpable even when the contact was not face-to-face.

A smile has no monetary value yet it is priceless. No amount of money can buy you one. It’s given away for free. You neither have to beg, steal, or borrow it. A smile comes naturally from the heart, resulting in harmony at home and prosperity for business. A smile binds and maintains friendship. Without smiles, any friendship is unimaginable.

“Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” Mother Teresa

“But how can you smile when you are overwhelmed with problems of the heart, health, finances, and peace of mind?” Yes, it’s difficult; but would sulking help? Will a frown take away the pain and rid the problems that keep pushing you down to more problems, illness, poverty, and a confused mind? The answer is obvious. Without a shadow of a doubt, a smile will clear the clouds and bring in sunshine to your life.

A smile is like a jewel worn on the face. It is the gateway to your personality. Wear a smile every minute and hour of the day, and you won’t need anything else.

 

Going The Extra Mile Benefits Everyone Including Yourself

extra mileIn a world where mediocrity is becoming alarmingly common, it’s a refreshing change to encounter people who are willing to go the extra mile.

If we are lucky we encounter such people on a daily basis. A checkout clerk who is particularly courteous, a co-worker who helps you do something not in their job description, or even a family member who does something to lighten your load.

Going beyond what others expect of you can never be a bad thing. It’s a great principle to live by no matter who you are or what you do.

Your attitude is something that shines out beyond the boundaries of what you present to others. There’s nothing that beats the feeling when someone surprises you by going the extra mile.

Nature encourages the habit of going the extra mile. If every animal/plant in the ecosystem had a lazy attitude the world would end. It’s as if Mother Nature encourages working harder than is called for.

If every human on the planet adopted a philosophy of going the extra mile the world would undoubtedly be a better place. Imagine a world were service is always courteous and delivered with a smile.

While it’s possible to still earn a living without ever having to push the boundaries of what you will do, that will not do much in terms of helping you achieve your goals.

As an example – Yesterday I stopped at the coffee shop in the supermarket I was shopping in, and asked the assistant for a latte to go. The assistant who took my order was pleasant, she served me with a smile. The second assistant, who was making the coffees (a couple, not just mine), plonked a ‘to go’ cup on the counter. I asked her “Is this mine?”. No answer, maybe she didn’t hear me. I asked again, still no answer. I didn’t want to take the coffee in case I was mistaken and it was not mine. I asked for a third time. This time she turned and said a gruff “Yeah”, without even looking at me. Now, which assistant is going to be in the lead when an opportunity for promotion or extra hours comes available? Quite frankly, if I were her boss, she probably wouldn’t have her job tomorrow.

Several years ago, I used to buy clothes from an online seller. The packages would arrive, and each item of clothing would be individually wrapped in tissue paper with a cute ribbon tie and a candy lollipop attached. Such a small extra detail, but one that made the retailer hugely memorable. They went that extra mile. And my children loved when I bought from there!

There are no traffic jams along the extra mile. –Roger Staubach

10 Reasons to go the extra mile:

1. Can foster a sense of direction in life

2. Develops a positive mental attitude

3. Encourages initiative

4. Creating a more pleasant environment for everyone

5. Gives job security

6. Often there’s extra compensation

7. Has a positive effect on all those around you – coworkers, clients etc.

8. Clear conscience

9. Can prevent procrastination

10. Going the extra mile can stimulate your soul.

That warm feeling you get inside when you go the extra mile for someone else is irreplaceable. There’s no substitute for a heartfelt thanks and you can rest easy in the knowledge that you have made life just that little bit easier for those around you.

Napoleon Hill, author of the world’s bestselling success manual Think and Grow Rich teaches the principle so well in this video:

Buy Think and Grow Rich from Amazon.com

Buy Think and Grow Rich from Amazon.co.uk

Why not try to incorporate this idea into your daily life. By setting a goal that you will go out of your way for someone else on a daily basis – you commit yourself to that warm fuzzy glow daily too!

Going the extra mile can make you stand out in a crowd. And of course it might just help you achieve that financial success you dream of.