366 Days of Kindness

366 Days of Kindness

I went to see a show last night, and what a wonderful show it was!

Bernadette Russell, as a result of seeing the devastation of the London riots in August 2011, decided to do an act of kindness every single day for a full year, and as 2012 was a leap year, this was going to be 366 days.

Bernadette decided to keep a diary of what she did every day. As time went on, she had to come up with some very creative ways of being kind, things that were as personal as she could make them to the receiver, that made them feel very special, and also things that were fun enough to keep Russell entertained and motivated to keep going, as she admitted was needed at times.

I expected the show to be quite a straightforward, if uplifting, lists of kindnesses, but it turned out to be a comedy extravaganza, performed by Russell and her partner Gareth.

Some examples from her diary:

Day 36: Left a fiver on the bus seat, but I wrote on the fiver explaining, in the  hope it gets passed around and spreads the word! This fiver did come back to me, months later, via Twitter, from a man who was given it in change in Nottingham and kindly posted a picture for me.

kindness, 366 days of kindnessDay 52: Left jar of sweets saying eat me at house near me. Rang bell, ran away.

Day 161: met this lovely man outside Waterloo station collecting for veterans. I gave him the scripscraps from my purse. Him: “Thanks” Me: “You’re welcome. Can I take a photo of you?” Him: “I’ll probably break your camera” Me: “No you won’t, a handsome man like you” Him: “oo *blushes* er.. ok.. thanks”. It got me thinking, I don’t give enough compliments. They don’t cost anything etc. Gonna do more.

Day 186: I got the homeless man sitting outside tescos a sandwich and rolos. He said he sleeps out. Blimey. In this. I couldn’t do one night.

kindness, 366 days of kindness, pound fairyDay 239: Left a little message and a pound coin on a park bench in Deptford.

There were so many examples of little kindnesses, that cost very little money, or no money at all, but put huge smiles on people’s faces.

What I especially liked were the personal connections made with strangers, people we wouldn’t normally come into contact with. In fact, as Bernadette demonstrated, it can be easy to approach someone who looks rather friendly, but how about someone who looks grumpy, or someone who is dressed in a similar style to a ‘London rioter’: Russell paid for a stamp in a Post Office for a young lad wearing a hoodie pulled up around his head, and his eyes down, he was very grateful for the help.

Often the people who don’t ‘look’ happy or look like negative stereotypes formed by society, are the ones who need the kindness, acceptance and inclusion, shown even more.

“If someone doesn’t have a smile, give them one of yours”

Kindness doesn’t have to involve giving money; in fact, it often means more without giving money:

  • Helping a pensioner lifting shopping into a car
  • Making homemade cards or positive messages, and leaving them in random places for people to find
  • Sitting with a homeless person, hearing their story, it’s often a powerful one, rather than throwing a fiver at them and walking away.

It reminded me of the homeless lady I gave my gloves to, because it was the middle of winter and I noticed, after giving her a cup of hot chocolate, how she wrapped her bare hands around the cup to warm them.

I would like to add here that I myself received an act of kindness, as I was gifted my ticket to the show. I was going to go anyway, and hadn’t bought my ticket yet, when somebody who had already paid found they couldn’t go, so gave me their ticket. I am very thankful.

Russell’s message is that if everybody does a small act of kindness every day, we will be living in a very different world. This movement is sweeping across the planet in a very powerful way. If we can teach our children this, the entire world can be improved within a generation.

Do Nice, Be Kind, Spread Happy, kindness, 366 days of kindnessI bought a copy of Russell’s children’s book ‘Do Nice, Be Kind, Spread Happy’, at the show, and it was lovely to speak with her personally and she signed the book for my 7-year-old niece. I got home and read it, and decided I need to buy another – for MYSELF!

It has such beautiful suggestions for very simple things that children, and adults as it turns out, can do every day. This is not a little paperback of lists. It is a large book, bigger than A4 size, with fully illustrated, and funny, pages and exercises to do, written in language that will engage children of all ages. It is a book that children will want to return to time and time again.

Buy ‘Do Nice, Be Kind, Spread Happy’ at Amazon.co.uk

Buy ‘Do Nice, Be Kind, Spread Happy’ at Amazon.com

The 366 Days of Kindness tour has only a couple more shows running:

Brighton, England – 19th & 20th May 2014

Cardiff, Wales – 28th May 2014

Details HERE – I can’t recommend it highly enough!

Please join the Kindness Revolution yourself, and help change the world, one kindness at a time.


Twitter: @betterussell #366daysofkindness

Facebook: #366 Days of Kindness

366 Days of Kindness

No such thing as a small act of kindness

No such thing as a small act of kindness

“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”
Scott Adams, Creator Of Dilbert Comic Strip

kindness, plato, be kind, patience, love

“In life you can never be too kind or too fair; everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. When you go through your day expressing kindness and courtesy to all you meet, you leave behind a feeling of warmth and good cheer, and you help alleviate the burdens everyone is struggling with.”
Brian Tracy, Motivational Author


“The best portion of a good man’s life; his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.”
William Wordsworth, Poet

No such thing as a small act of kindness

Forgive, let go and be free

Forgive, let go and be free

forgive, let go and be free


Too often, we carry around those things from our past that hurt us the most.

Don’t let past pain rob you of your present happiness.

You had to live through it in the past, and that cannot be changed, but if the only place it lives today is in your mind, then forgive, let go, and be free.

~Doe Zantamata

What are you carrying around that you could let go of today? Who are you feeling bitter towards? Forgiveness does not mean you have to have the person who wronged you in your life, just that you learned a hard lesson and can move on from it without remaining attached to the emotional pain. The beauty of it is, when you free them, you free yourself.

Forgive, let go and be free

3 Steps for Having Money Conversations With Your Partner

3 Steps for Having Money Conversations With Your Partner

Money Conversations With Your Partner, money talksIt starts a week from today!

Join us for our 9-day The Art of Love Relationship Series, starting next Tuesday, April 1st!

Register for this FREE event HERE

Gina DeVee, one of the 55 love and relationship experts featured in The Art of Love Relationship Series, will be speaking on a panel about “Overcoming Money Madness: The Secrets To Navigating Rough Financial Waters With Ease.” Gina recommends following these 3 steps when having conversations about money with your partner:

“Step one is related to how we can sometimes be polarized in our thinking in society, where something needs to be either one or the other—and I’m a big fan of taking a stand for the ‘and.’ So for example, if one member of the couple wants to save and the other wants to take a trip to Italy, really exploring first and foremost how might both be possible? How can you create or manifest the funds to do what both people desire?

My second step is to be really curious in love. Relationships are teachers. So if your partner says, ‘I really think that we should buy this house,’ or ‘I really think that we should pad our nest egg,’ rather than react because you have the opposite viewpoint, really be curious about your partner, and discover why that is important to him or her, and see what else you can learn and fall more deeply in love with that person for, and how it can expand your own viewpoint.

And then the third step that really requires personal responsibility is to know thyself. Most of us are just operating out of money rules that were passed down to us versus really investigating for ourselves what is true for us. So if one person thinks, ‘Oh, I must buy a house,’ well, is that true for you and is that really part of your own value system, or did your parents tell you you were throwing money away if you were renting? So really knowing what your own truth is, is critical.” —Gina DeVee

Join Gina and all 55 of the world’s most respected love and relationship experts during our 3rd annual FREE 9-day The Art of Love Relationship Series. Starting on Tuesday, April 1st, you will learn the latest insights about how to have a more connected, satisfying relationship—and deeper love—than you ever thought possible.

Register for the free event here, and watch 3 pre-event bonus interviews with Deepak Chopra, Dr Jenn Berman and Michael Bernard Beckwith

3 Steps for Having Money Conversations With Your Partner

Getting What You’ve Been Craving In The Bedroom

Getting What You’ve Been Craving In The Bedroom: How To Make Your Sex Life More Intimate Than It’s Ever Been

Dr. Jenn Berman

Getting What You’ve Been Craving In The Bedroom: How To Make Your Sex Life More Intimate Than It’s Ever BeenDr. Jenn Berman is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in Los Angeles. She is the host and lead therapist on VH1′s Couple’s Therapy where she does intensive therapy with celebrity couples. She has appeared as a psychological expert on hundreds of television shows including The Oprah Winfrey ShowThe Today ShowThe Early Show, and HLN.

Watch Dr Jenn Berman and Arielle Ford Now – at absolutely no charge

Open communication about sex is what makes sex better. But navigating those conversations can be really tricky business. Discover how to comfortably and effectively communicate with your partner about sex — and then reap the rewards!

In the main event webinar you’ll also learn:

  • The #1 reason a partner withholds sex – and what to do if that’s happening to you
  • Where, when and how to bring up the subject of sex
  • How to ask for what you want – and get it!
  • Important do’s and don’ts for flirting with your partner
  • How to break the news that you’ve been faking – and end up (actually) satisfied!
  • The #1 way to give suggestions so your partner wants to take them
  • Top 4 reasons – especially women – lose their libido (and how to get it back)
  • Why surrendering could be the sexiest thing you do

Watch the short video with Dr Jenn and Arielle here!

This video is just a small preview of a truly remarkable, free online event Arielle is hosting for the third consecutive year: The Art of Love Relationship Series set to kick off on April 1st, 2014. Starting with the LIVE kick-off on April 1st, and for 9 more powerful days, you’ll hear from over 50 of the world’s most respected love and relationship experts . . .Art of Love Relationship Series 2014

They’ll be sharing the latest insights about how to have a more connected, satisfying relationship—and deeper love—than you ever thought possible.

(Mark your calendar now so you don’t miss it!)

Faculty for the series includes Dr. John Gray, Harville Hendrix, Alison Armstrong, Dr. Gay Hendricks, Dr. Katie Hendricks, Neale Donald Walsch, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Claire Zammit, Lisa Nichols, Arielle Ford, and many others.

Dr Jenn Berman will also be participating in Seminar 4: Becoming Partners In Parenting: How to Parent As A Team Even When You Disagree alongside Jacqueline Green and Dr. Laura Markham.

Watch the Video & Register for the Event at No Charge

P.S. Even if you have already registered for the event, enter your details again to watch the video.

Getting What You’ve Been Craving In The Bedroom: How To Make Your Sex Life More Intimate Than It’s Ever Been

The Art of Love – Relationship Series 2014

The Art of Love – Relationship Series 2014

Art of Love Relationship Series 2014I have a brand new, never-before-seen video to share with you!
It features world-renowned mind-body physician and New York Times #1 bestselling author Deepak Chopra and bestselling love and relationship author Arielle Ford.

In this short video, Deepak shares powerful, fast-working tips that will not only help you create a whole new level of connection and intimacy with your partner than you ever imagined possible . . .

They will also help you to identify and break unconscious habits that stand in the way of true intimacy. And if you’re not in a relationship right now but are hoping to be someday soon, these insights will help you experience the deeper levels of intimacy you’ve always wished were possible when that happens.

Watch Deepak Chopra and Arielle Ford Now – at absolutely no charge

Most of us want to feel truly seen, heard and understood by our partner, and to experience the kind of close connection we know we deserve. But in our modern world, we’re so busy and distracted that often there just doesn’t seem to be enough quality time available to spend with our partners to begin with . . . In this short video:

“The 4 Simple Steps To Deeper Connection:  How to Overcome the Challenges of a Modern  Relationship and Find the Intimacy You Crave”

Deepak shares techniques you can use right away to overcome those challenges by taking better advantage of the time you do have together to create more closeness and intimacy in your relationship!

Watch the short video with Deepak and Arielle here!

Deepak and Arielle dive right in, sharing the techniques you can use to build more connection in your relationship! In this video, you’ll discover . . .

  • 3 daily habits that will increase intimacy

  • A simple mindset shift that will create the conditions that cultivate love instead of smothering it or pushing it away

  • The 4-step process that will help you give up your need to control and instead allow you to get closer

  • How to find and maintain a state of “allowing” so that love flows to and from you freely

Access the Deepak Chopra and Arielle Ford video Now

This video is just a small preview of a truly remarkable, free online event Arielle is hosting for the third consecutive year: The Art of Love Relationship Series set to kick off on April 1st, 2014. Starting with the LIVE kick-off on April 1st, and for 9 more powerful days, you’ll hear from over 50 of the world’s most respected love and relationship experts . . . Art of Love Relationship Series 2014

They’ll be sharing the latest insights about how to have a more connected, satisfying relationship—and deeper love—than you ever thought possible. (Mark your calendar now so you don’t miss it!)

Faculty for the series includes Dr. John Gray, Harville Hendrix, Alison Armstrong, Dr. Gay Hendricks, Dr. Katie Hendricks, Neale Donald Walsch, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Claire Zammit, Lisa Nichols, Arielle Ford, and many others.

Watch the Video & Register for the Event at No Charge

Here are just a few of the enthusiastic responses Arielle has received from people who have attended The Art of Love Relationship Series in the past:

“I’ve experienced a shift of consciousness. Instead of empty and lonely and longing for love, I feel full, beautiful, and ‘in love’ with a sense of expectancy and readiness for this love relationship about to manifest!” —Nia

“This program has taught me so much about myself and my perception of love. I have been awakened and forever changed by my new knowledge. All the questions I’ve had have all been closed. This is the big piece of the puzzle that has been missing for me my entire life!” —Heather

“I was floundering in a sea of failed relationships, but now I look to the future with hopeful expectation!” —Al

“I now feel a sense of healing and opening of my heart so I can love and be loved. I highly recommend The Art of Love for anyone searching for a soulful connection and anyone who wants to grow the existing love connection.” —Karen

Join me, and together we’ll take in everything this brand new series has to offer!

P.S. Remember, you’ll get instant access to the video with bestselling authors Deepak Chopra and Arielle Ford sharing the latest research and advice on how to create a more intimate and connected relationship than you ever thought possible!

Watch the video now at no charge

The Art of Love

How to Visualize the Things You Want

visualizationHow can you visualize the goals that you have? There are techniques that move you deeper into your own inner power to see with greater clarity what you want to create.

Visualization is by far one of the most powerful tools for good setting and attracting what you want. Yet few people know how to properly visualize. With the right technique you can begin to see outstanding results in successfully attracting what you want, if you fully apply what you learn.

Firstly, you are visualizing all the time. You may not be aware of it but you are always conjuring up images in your mind. When you are speaking on the telephone to someone you are usually trying to see in your mind what they are telling you. You also visualize when you are deep in thought. When you are worrying about paying your debt or worrying about the way you would really like to live your life you are also visualizing. However, worrying is negatively directed visualization, as you are focusing more on lack.

The trick is to use that creative force to actually attract the things you want. This is where many people go terribly wrong.

Here is a great test to help you understand the most effective way to visualize. Think of the last time you were deep in thought. Now try to remember what that felt like. If you can recall that time, you will notice that you were deep inside of yourself. You were unaware of anyone or anything and as you were allowing yourself to visualize you could feel clearly that you were having the experience as if it were real. That is the power of visualization.

When people ask all the time, “How do I visualize the things I want?”, I tell them the same way you visualize the things that you don’t want. You see when you are feeling anxious and fearful you lock yourself away in your inner mind with those images. You lose sight of other possibilities and if it is something that happened to you, then you recreate it in its full detail with all your emotions all over again.

Try to immerse yourself with full emotions when you are trying to create the things you want. Many thoughts may come to distract you but if you will redirect your mind to what you do want your mind will be trained to hold that thought.

There are many tools and techniques that can greatly empower your ability to visualize if you really have a hard time. You can add extreme magnetism to any mental image you want to create as long as you apply the right technique.

My favourite technique is to create a vision board, and I have had much success with mine. I collect pictures of things I would like to achieve and attach them to a physical board, or copy and paste digital images onto a document then print it out to stick on my wall, somewhere I will see it often. Another option is to store images in a folder on the computer and set the screensaver to rotate the images whenever I am not using the computer. Then get into the place of ‘feeling’ how lovely life is when my visions have materialised.

UPDATE: Within a few short hours of my posting this, a lovely neighbour has knocked on my door and given me a car battery charger, as they know I have had some difficulty starting my car for a few weeks and they just ‘happened’ to find a spare one 😀

Stormy weather – got my dancing shoes on!

Well I have certainly been going through a few storms recently.

I’ve been hesitant to write because I wanted my blog to be full of positive vibes. But I thought, isn’t that being a bit fake? How can I write about life being so wonderful all the time when sometimes it just isn’t?

The purpose of my writing is not about how perfect life always is: it’s about how I handle those tough times. How I recognise when my frequency moves up and down the emotional scales. What I attract into my life by how I focus. And what do I do to adjust myself back into balance. Back into a more positive frame of mind and better-feeling thoughts and emotions.

Over the past few weeks, I think I took on a lot of physical activity that my body hasn’t been used to for a long time. I forget that although my head wants to dance and play and run a marathon, my legs just don’t, and they make it known when I try to overrule them.

Then I received news about some hospital tests I had being less than favourable. I started worrying of course. The worry took me to a place of panic. And then to add to it, my house got burgled.

I really felt that I was stuck in a downward spiral that was sucking me down faster and faster. My relaxation and meditation strategies took a back seat. I let life get too busy. I become overwhelmed. And after the burglary happened I spiralled down further into anger, an emotion I really haven’t felt for a long time.

Of course I recognised the pattern, as I described earlier in Emotion Devotion, and knew I had to stop this decline.

meditate20minsI tried to listen to some of my usual guided meditations on my ipod, but found it difficult to switch off the worrying thoughts in my head. Then the sun came out after several weeks of rainy weather, so I took myself out into the garden with my Kindle to read. However, I got very little reading done. I found myself distracted. I looked up to the clear blue sky and noticed the patterns the trail of the aeroplanes had made across the sky. Two of them formed a X shape and I imagined this was a sign from the Universe giving me a kiss and saying ‘Everything is OK’. I thought about all the planes passing overhead (luckily too high up for me to be disturbed by engine noise), and appreciated how easy it is for me to be on one of them flying away to some glorious holiday. I listened to the beautiful birdsong, and enjoyed watching the birds flying to and from the feeders I had filled up with food. I noticed the new buds on the young fruit trees I had planted last year. I appreciated the warmth of the sun on my face and arms, and appreciated how the sun and the slight breeze were drying the laundry I had hung out. I enjoyed listening to my neighbour’s little granddaughter singing and laughing. I spent more than an hour just basking and noticing everything wonderful around me.

I became completely mindful of how, right there, right at that very moment, life was perfect. I had more than I needed and everything I wanted. I know that when I am mindful and ‘in the moment’, everything is always working out ok. I have no worry or stress, just peace and calm.

When you become mindful and calm, your brain naturally goes into an alpha state, which is the state you are aiming to achieve in meditation. I realised that, for me, at that time, doing a specific meditation exercise felt like I was trying too hard. It felt like I was saying “C’mon inner peace, I haven’t got all day!”. However, by getting myself out in nature, and becoming mindful of the beauty around me and everything around me to appreciate, this just naturally took me into alpha, there was no effort required, no resistance to push against.

Many people think of meditation as it used to be defined: sitting cross-legged, eyes closed, chanting ‘om’. However, meditation can now be defined as anything that calms your mind, and enable you to stop or change your thought patterns. It can be the traditional Buddhism-style meditation if you wish. It can also be focussing on your favourite soft music, or watching children or animals playing. It can be becoming lost in the creation of art. Whatever you can give your full attention and feels good, whatever recharges your batteries.

When I thought later on about those things I had been worrying about, I could do it from a different perspective. It felt like the high charge had been removed. I have to go for further appointments at the hospital, but I am appreciating that I have access to an excellent Health Service that will help take care of my body. On the subject of the burglary, I am thankful that I was safe (as I was in bed asleep during it). While they took my purse and jewellery, a few bits of which were precious to me, there were lots of my possessions around which they did not take. I felt that as my energy frequency is quite high as a rule, but just experiencing a minor dip, the loss was not as bad as it could have been. I even thought about my earlier post about two travelling angels, and considered how I would rather it happen to me than perhaps one of my elderly neighbours, who may be less able to cope emotionally.

I also listened to several of the speakers in the Hay House Summit, which I wrote about earlier. So much inspiration to enjoy. I took lots of notes of some of them too, so will probably write about those in future posts.

When I want to feel better, I go to see the quacks!
When I want to feel better, I go to see the quacks!

Since then, for the last week or so, I have made a point of getting myself out to the local parks, and just sitting doing the same as I did in my garden. I have taken along a journal to write down my mindful thoughts and appreciations. I have enjoyed watching the baby ducks and cygnets getting bigger, healthier and stronger every day, being nurtured by their parents. I appreciate the people who stop to let me pet their dogs and have a lovely chat.

I can feel my energy increasing every day, and I am thankful for some challenges that make the getting back into balance feel sooooo delicious 😀

Emotion Devotion – Part 2

EmotionsSo how do I alter the emotion I am feeling when something bad happens? When I am in the middle of a crisis? When everyone around me is talking about that thing that happened? When I just feel bad for no particular reason?

It’s easy to say just change your thoughts. But we each have about 60,000 thoughts per day, and many of these are our programs running on auto-pilot. All those little automatic thoughts we have trained ourselves, or others have trained us from a young age, to think, mostly to protect us, but they also tend to numb us or expect the worst. They don’t serve us in creating a better life. Times change. What served us at one time in our lives, or served our parents, isn’t relevant or helpful today.

Here’s some great news. We don’t have to monitor each and every thought. If we did that, we would create more thoughts, at least doubled to 120,000. But we do have great tools to help us, they are our feelings and emotions. When our dominant thoughts are negative, we will feel bad. When our dominant thoughts are positive, we feel good.

Abraham-Hicks, one of my favourite teachers, has come up with an ideal illustration of how this works. It is called the Emotional Guidance Scale. I use this on a regular basis, in fact the image is now imprinted on my mind, and when I don’t feel good it is a great place to start and identify why I am feeling as I am, and then work my way up into better thoughts, feelings and emotions:

emotional guidance scale

First, identify whether you are feeling good or bad.

If you feel good, you are likely to feel hopeful, loving, appreciative, optimistic, content, enthusiastic, and your dominant thoughts will be positive, good-feeling thoughts. You are on the left-hand side of the picture. Congratulations! You are feeling great. Now keep milking those good feelings and thoughts. Bask in the ease of life, because it is showing you all the things you have to feel good about. You are unlikely to experience difficulties, but if they do crop up, you will be ready and able to overcome difficulties more easily than if you were feeling bad in the first place.

If you feel bad, you are likely to feel depressed, insecure, angry, jealous, guilty, fearful, disappointed, bored, and your dominant thoughts will match and feed those negative emotions. You are on the right-hand side of the picture. Congratulations! Did that sound strange? Congratulating you on feeling bad?

Please be assured I am not making light of these sometimes dreadful emotions. I am completely sympathetic to how bad they can feel. Remember, I have been in the depths of despair and depression and did consider checking out. When you feel bad or low, it really can feel like you are trapped in the downward spiral the image above represents. It feels like you are out of control of your own life. However, I do want you to remember this one thing – I am certain this is not the first time you have felt low and like times gone by, this too shall pass! And when it does, you will know how strong you are, and will even be thankful for the challenges that made you recognise that fact. You will learn how to reach out and grab the branch that stops you from drowning, and you will realise just how worth it life is.

However low down this Emotional Guidance Scale you may feel you are at the moment, the good news is that at this moment you are breathing, you are alive and you have a chance to climb up. The better news is that you actually have a desire in you, a desire to climb up, to get well, to feel better. And the fantastic news is that as you are climbing up, you will give birth to so many new desires, desires you didn’t even know you had. You will realise desires to drop many negative things from your life that took you down there in the first place.

The best news of all is that it is possible, no matter how far down that scale you are, to actually reach the top and feel utter, absolute joy and appreciation, but not immediately. Don’t expect to do that. I’m not even going to try and pretend you could do that. What I would like is the opportunity to show you how to do it the gentle way, the more consistent way.

Think of it like a diet: we all know those crash diets where you lose a huge amount of weight in a short period of time don’t work. You feel utterly miserable, and when you stop you pile on the weight again, often much more than you lost. This is about small steps. Gentle, consistent changes to your attitude and lifestyle that you can maintain and with practise they become habit.

How does it work?

Wherever you are on that downward spiral, it is always possible to feel better. If you are right at the bottom, as I was, the only way is UP! Even a slight shift upwards is a shift in the right direction.

I think of the Emotional Guidance Scale as being like a radio tuner. Stack the left side on top of the right side (as it is most often illustrated, I just thought the image I used was most appropriate for this article), so it is a continuous scale.

You wouldn’t want to change your radio frequency straight from Heavy Metal music to a Ballet would you?

If you’ve been listening to Discouragement FM for a while, and fiddle around with the tuner, you might not be ready to listen to Passion AM yet, but Frustration FM will feel a bit better, as it can feel like you are heading in the direction of taking back some control of your life, whereas Anger FM is heading in the wrong direction: you may be inclined to do something rash and hurt somebody else, which could further spiral down to Revenge or Guilt FM. Even Optimism AM may feel like a bit of a stretch from Frustration, but if over a bit of time you can move up to Boredom, you may look for new things to do and then line up with new ideas and then be ready to move up to Hopeful, and from there it is only a little hop up to Optimism. Did you notice the switch from the negative end of the tuner to the positive end?

As we are energetic magnets, as explained in Emotion Devotion – Part 1, we attract whatever is on the frequency we are tuned in to. The higher up the scale we can move, we will align and attract more in life that shows us where we are, which frequency we are vibrating at.

We can also be at different levels on the scale for different aspects of our lives. For instance, we can be optimistic about our finances while feeling discouraged in relationships. If you try and deal with too much at once, you can become overwhelmed. So take it easy, don’t get carried away with trying to fix everything all at once. Work on what is most important to you at the moment. When you see some progress in that area, the hopefulness you will achieve will spill over into other aspects of your life.

When you adjust your tuner in the right direction, upwards, you will see the evidence of that shift manifest into your reality. You will feel better physically, mentally and emotionally. You may meet someone who can help you achieve a goal. You may receive an unexpected financial windfall. You used to think these things were coincidences or ‘lucky’. They were not. They were reflecting your inner feelings and thoughts.

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it
– Albert Einstein

Another way to consider the Emotional Guidance Scale is this. If you are in those right-hand side emotions in the above image, your thinking is predominantly problem-focused, whereas in the left-hand side emotions your thinking is more solution-focused. When you are thinking negatively, you often think you can’t see a way out, you are too far away from the thoughts you need to find the solution. As you move up the scale, you move closer to an appropriate, good-feeling situation.

By the time I discovered Abraham-Hicks and the Emotional Guidance Scale, I had reached the Hopeful level. I had already realised that when I was at my lowest, the thing I had lost all contact with was Hope. I couldn’t hear Hope AM from where I was tuned into Depression FM. I could reflect back and I could identify all the stages I had passed through on my way up to Hope. Seeing it laid out like this, showed me that what I had been through on my journey was a completely natural course of events. I wasn’t unusual. My journey wasn’t unusual. It had been natural for me to feel Hate and Revenge during that time, which was good because it had felt slightly more empowered than Depression, but now I was Hopeful and Optimistic, it would not be a good idea to return to those lower levels, and I am glad to say I never have, and don’t believe I ever will, about anything.

Your radio tuner, or energetic frequency, is known as your ‘point of attraction’. It will vary. It can go down as well as up. Whichever way it is going, it’s all good. If it’s going up, enjoy it and it will continue. If it’s going down, get ready to create some new desires from the challenges. Take a step back and evaluate where you are and where you want to be. But the main message is, don’t worry, with practise you realise that your emotions are your best friend and they help to guide you in the right direction.

Nothing is more important than that you feel good
– Abraham-Hicks

Oh, and about those thoughts, the natural effect of noticing your feelings improve is that you will have more good stuff to think good thoughts about. It is a 2-way process though, because of those automatic thought-dampeners we have picked up. I will discuss how to identify false thoughts that no longer serve you in a future post, because they can be buried in your sub-conscious and create limiting beliefs, which can hinder you in maintaining the most positive emotions. A general rule is that negative thoughts do not serve you well, and if in general you notice that you once had a 70:30 negative/positive thought ratio, and you can turn this around even to 45:55 negative:positive ratio, you are heading in the right direction 🙂

When you do move into those higher, better emotions, it feels so good. You know your thoughts are at least 51% positive. Life shows you why it so good, which in turn gives you more positive experiences to think about. The effects begin to multiply. It begins to suck you up and up into higher energy. The momentum builds, and the higher you get the more exhilarating the feelings and experiences. It’s the best natural high you can get. You will see more positive people appear in your life, and negative ones disappear. It’s like magic. Trust the process and it will take you to places you may not have known existed.

Coming up: Practical ideas to help move you up the Emotional Guidance Scale

Emotion Devotion – Part 1

EmotionsWe often think and believe that our emotions occur as a result of what we experience, and are somewhat out of our control. If something happens that we like, we feel good, we feel happy. If something happens that we don’t like, we feel bad, sad, unhappy.

Of course it is natural for us to believe this when a crisis occurs. Faced with debt, ill health, or sad news about a relative or close friend, our first instinct is to feel bad. Whilst it is not wrong to feel bad, it is entirely human to do so, our problems occur when we hold onto that negative emotion and allow it to dictate further negative thoughts and actions, which can result in negative consequences.

For instance, have you ever been in a negative mood, perhaps because you’ve received some bad news or somebody upset you? Sometime later, maybe even days later, you are still in that heavy, bad mood and you snap at somebody else? The person you snapped at may or may not have any idea why you did that. You make them feel bad. They snap back. Or they may not, but they leave your company feeling bad. You may realise later that your action of ‘snapping’ was unfair and unjustified, and they really didn’t deserve that. Now you feel guilty. You add more heaviness to your mood. You may be able to call them and apologise and make you both feel better. But what if it was somebody you can’t contact? The cashier at the supermarket, or the person who accidentally bumped into you in the street and you bit their head off? What if they went home and took it out on somebody they love? It’s like a virus. See how it spreads?

You don’t even have to snap at somebody to spread the negativity virus. Have you ever spent time in the company of somebody who does nothing but perpetually moan and complain? Have you felt your energy drain from you? I call these ‘energy vampires’. And I’ll be totally honest with you. When I was going through my challenges, I became one!

I became isolated. Few people visited me, and if they did they didn’t stick around for very long. I then began blaming them for not visiting more, for not helping me, for not wanting to be around me. So what did I get? Of course, I got more of that! Truth was, when I look back, I wouldn’t have wanted to be around me either.

So, think of this from a different perspective. How would you feel if you could release the intensity of a negative emotion quicker, and therefore avoid spreading that awful virus? How could we avoid hurting others, and ourselves further, by bouncing back more easily into a more balanced, reasonable frame of mind?

Notice I did not say bounce back into a ‘positive’ frame of mind. In some cases, that may be far too much a stretch. Let’s face it, if you’ve only just found out that somebody close to you has died for example, and somebody says “Come on. Pull yourself together. Let’s go to that new comedy club in town. It’ll be great fun”, chances are that is NOT going to make you feel better. Thoughts of violence may even cross your mind.

But, even in a circumstance such as death of a loved one, it is possible to reach for a gentle, better-feeling thought, such as “they’re out of pain now”, or “they had a good life”, or chat with somebody about the great experiences you shared, and celebrating their life.

The important thing is to avoid getting stuck in that painful emotion, which can become crippling. It serves no purpose. In fact, it does more harm than good. And there’s no rational reason for it.

What does negative emotion do to our body?

Now remember I am not a medical or scientific expert, but I will try and explain this in lay person’s terms as I have come to understand it through my own research and experience of working through it.

Our bodies, perfectly designed by nature, have built-in responders called hormones. We are aware of the ‘fight or flight’ response. This served us well when we lived in caves, and we had to survive being confronted with wild animals on a regular basis. Our adrenaline kicked in and helped us deal with the situation. In some parts of the world this is still relevant, for instance tribes that live in the jungles. In some circumstances in Western society, it is also still relevant. Consider the child who gets run over by a car, and their mother, an average woman of average strength, finds the strength to lift that car by herself, off her child. Or the athlete or adventurer who need to perform in high-intensity situations. That is what adrenaline enables us to do. Cortisol is another hormone produced in times of stress.

In today’s westernised societies, we do not face such extreme dangerous situations on a regular basis, and the ‘fight or flight’ response would be more aptly be described now as the ‘anger or fear’ response, as those emotions more accurately describe our response to challenges. The body response, however, is the same. We release adrenaline and cortisol and other physiological responses occur.

The danger comes when we prolong the release of these hormones. They are only meant to be released for a short period of time. Think of the caveman facing the wild animal. He deals with it. He goes on with his life. The hormones stop releasing. Then he gets back out there the next day, and deals with it. If he kept the fear going, he wouldn’t go back out to face it again, and the human race would not have evolved, or even survived. Can you imagine him saying to Mrs Cave “I’m so scared. I can’t go out there tomorrow”?

By continuing to be angry, worry and stress, we keep these hormones releasing. This is so bad for the body. It weakens us. It damages our immune system. It can cause or contribute to so many bodily conditions, including chronic pain and cancer. Added to this, the body can become dependent and addicted to these chemicals, just as it can with alcohol, nicotine or drugs.

Stress is always caused by some negative emotion being held in the body.

The benefits of bouncing back

So consider the benefits of being able to bounce back to a more positive emotion, more quickly:

* It is good for your health

* It is good for your relationships

* It is good for other people

* You become more productive in your life

* It WILL improve your reality and your life

How do I do it?

The fantastic news is that ANYONE can improve their bouncebackability.

Please see Emotion Devotion – Part 2

In the meantime, you may like to watch this video – The Biology of Belief by Dr Bruce Lipton, who can explain the science bit much better than I can