No such thing as a small act of kindness

No such thing as a small act of kindness

“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”
Scott Adams, Creator Of Dilbert Comic Strip

kindness, plato, be kind, patience, love

“In life you can never be too kind or too fair; everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. When you go through your day expressing kindness and courtesy to all you meet, you leave behind a feeling of warmth and good cheer, and you help alleviate the burdens everyone is struggling with.”
Brian Tracy, Motivational Author

 

“The best portion of a good man’s life; his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.”
William Wordsworth, Poet

No such thing as a small act of kindness

When things go wrong … (part 3)

When things go wrong … (part 3)

how you reactFollowing on from When things go wrong … Part 1 and Part 2

I slept for what seemed like only a few minutes. It was about 4:30am when I awoke.

Remembering that my hired car was parked where it shouldn’t be, I started worrying I would have to move it before about 8am if I was to avoid a run-in with the Spanish police. I didn’t want to go walking down dark streets at that time of the morning, even though I have never felt unsafe in Spain. Going back to sleep could be risky. I may or may not wake in time. The crazy thing about narcolepsy is my ability to sleep ‘on a washing line’, as long as it’s not at night when sleep is supposed to happen!

I got up and explored my room more thoroughly, as I hadn’t had a chance before flaking out after the events of last night. As I’ve come to expect in Spain, my room and en-suite shower room were immaculately clean. Wondering why my basement room would have curtains, I looked behind to discover an open patio door, leading out into a small courtyard, only about 2 metres square. At first I worried that the door had been open while I slept, then I realised my room was the only access to the courtyard, so I was safe. It added to the cuteness of my room.

I put on my coat and decided to go look for the kitchen up on the roof terrace I remembered vaguely being told about, and see if I could make a cup of tea. I grabbed my cigarettes, Kindle and headphones. I have some guided meditations stored on my Kindle, maybe one of those would help tame the negative thoughts I already felt creeping back.

Tea made, I found the roof terrace a quiet, serene place to sit. The sky was a blanket of stars, many more than I could ever possibly see over my cloudy hometown back in the North-East of England. One star in the East, right ahead of me, seemed to shine ten times brighter than all the rest. Something about it made me feel less alone.

The anger from the previous evening pushed into my thoughts now and again, but the serenity of the night helped my soul to tame it. I turned my attention to what I have learned, and what I would be advising someone else who described such a thing happening to them.

The first thing that came up was “You have to stop the anger”. My ego argued, “Why should I stop it, I have a right to be bloody angry?”. My soul returned, “you’ll only get more of it”. Of course this made sense to me: I knew that if I continued to carry this angry emotion around, my negative energy vibration would result in the attraction of more negative consequences to myself. It wouldn’t affect him one bit.

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
Gautama Buddha

when things go wrongI thought of several other of my mantras I use when facing tough times:

  • Everything happens for a reason.
  • It always works out for me.
  • Things don’t always work out as we planned, but they always work out right.
  • I may not be where I expected to be, but I am where I’m meant to be.
  • At the times when its hardest to think it, you have to remember there is a blessing in Everything

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” 
― Wayne W. Dyer

Repeating these, and feeling the energy of the stars, the universe, and my guardian angels, really smoothed my frayed edges and blunted the spiky thoughts. I felt altogether more peaceful and sat there under the stars for a couple of hours. I played a meditation audio, I read some soothing words from one of my many Kindle books, smoked a few ciggies and had another cup of tea. I decided to check on a flight home later on when I could get a wifi connection.

Then I realised, I was awake early enough to watch a beautiful Nerja sunrise, a rarity for me. I’m not a morning person, and it had been many years since I had watched the sunrise from a beach here. What a treat! I headed down to the Balcon de Europa, just a 3-minute walk away, at about 6:30am.

Although the Balcon was deserted when I first arrived, I was surprised to see quite a few people arrive so soon after, a couple of obvious tourists – like me, with their cameras – and several Spanish people. How lovely, I thought, that they still make the effort to watch the sunrise, they don’t take it for granted, as many do of the beautiful scenes right at their doorsteps. It felt very spiritual, to see so many individuals, not talking to one another because each was absorbed in their own reason for being there, yet we were all connected in the soaking up of the energy of the morning. As the sun beamed “Good morning,” that bright star in the East whispered “Goodnight”.

nerja sunriseThere was a family there: they could have been grandparents, or they could have been mum and dad who had their two young sons later in life. The two adults were taking turns taking pictures of the family with the sun rising behind them. I thought, what a shame if they can’t all be in the same picture, so I walked over and gestured that I would take a picture of them all together with their camera. Happy with this, they returned the favour and took a photo of me with my phone. Language is no barrier to kindness, a smile speaks every language.

After moving my car to a better parking space, I returned to my room. I knew I needed to sleep and would not be checking out in time, so paid for another night. I would look for a flight home later. I slept all day.

when life throws you a wobblyWhen I awoke late in the afternoon, I looked for a flight. As it was such short notice, the flight prices were really quite high. I couldn’t change my existing flight, which was more than another week away, as I had already checked-in online and printed my boarding pass. I would have to pay for a new flight. It would take me way over my budget I’d saved for my holiday. After consideration, I thought if I was going to have to hit the credit card anyway for the flight, I could probably get a less expensive hostel over the other side of town, where it would be easier to park my car, and for the week it wouldn’t be too much more than the flight, add meals and spending money … Oh, blow it! The more I listened to my heart, the more I realised I HAD to stay. I hadn’t had a holiday in so long. I didn’t know when I would be able to afford or physically manage another. And my main reason was that I should not go home feeling like my holiday was ruined, not because I would blame him, but because I would blame MYSELF. I had options. While getting into debt is not something I would normally do for a holiday – being medically retired, unexpected expenses can be worrisome – it is something I felt I needed to do for peace of mind, and a week of straightening out my energy in such a lovely place. I decided I was not returning home full of regret, or blame for anyone, least of all myself.

After visiting a hotel just a couple of doors away from my favourite Irish bar, with plenty of free parking outside it, and getting a good deal on a week’s stay, I arranged to move in the following day as I’d already paid for the hostel.

I spent my last evening at the hostel focussing on the good things in my life: I was in a beautiful place. Several people had been helpful and caring in the last couple of days, this was the natural order of things. I was safe and as comfortable as I could be, despite the ongoing pain in my body which I have come to expect and manage the best I can. I was grateful to have hired the car, what would I have done without it? I was grateful that I had the emergency backup of a credit card. I decided this was going to be a lovely week ahead. I drifted into one of the most peaceful sleeps I had had in some time.

On arrival at the hotel the next day, I received a warm welcome by a young lady receptionist I had not met the previous day. She greeted me by my first name as I approached the desk as if I was an old friend. I appreciated the friendly informality.

I spent the week relaxing, chilling out, looking for things to appreciate and reasons to feel grateful, and I found them everywhere. The trauma of the event that brought me here faded into insignificance. I took walks along the beach, stopping at the regularly-placed wooden benches to sit and read a while, and to just watch the temperamental ocean.

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” 
― Wayne W. Dyer

I sat at a beach bar for a coffee and a group of three Englishmen at the next table invited me into their company by asking me about my Kindle. They were new to Nerja, and asked if I could recommend some good eating places. I mentioned a few restaurants, but assured them they couldn’t really go wrong: I had never had a bad meal here. Knowing I was in town on my own, they invited me to join them for dinner. I thanked them for the invite and graciously declined, happy to just float along in my own little world this week.

The next day, sat on a bench reading, I happened to look up just as two of the men from the day before passed by. “Hey Kindle lady”, they stopped to chat. I realised we had not introduced ourselves by name yesterday, so I introduced myself and held out a hand to shake with John and Mike. “We’re just going for some lunch. If you’re at a loose end, you’re very welcome to join us,” John offered. “That’s very kind of you. Really, I’m fine thank you”.

I continued to sit and focus on all the lovely, kind, friendly people in the world, and in my life. This is the best way to deal with the occasional unkind, unfriendly person, by realising that they are not the ‘norm’, we will bump into them occasionally for whatever reason, but to focus on unkindness will only attract more of that, so to counteract that negative energy, you look for the good in people.

The next day, after a short walk, of long duration with my many stops, I passed by a couple of familiar bars, but there was a big rugby match on the TV’s so I didn’t stop, I headed back to my hotel room. However, something made me stop at my Irish bar, despite the rugby projecting from the big screen on the terrace, and I ordered a pot of tea. I was reading my Kindle, and my attention was drawn to a lady sat at another table. She had a hat beside her on the table and it reminded me of my favourite aunt, a boho, hippie-style lady. After a few minutes, she turned and saw me, and said “What beautiful nails you have”. “Thank you”, I said, and we began chatting. As it turned out, Amanda had been travelling on her own around Spain for six months, and she was a writer/blogger. This connected us further, as it has long been a dream of mine to travel around Spain, and more of Europe. I don’t know how the subject came about so quickly, but she mentioned a couple of people had suggested she read ‘The Power of Now’. “Oh, Eckhart Tolle,” I said. “Yes,” she said, “now I know I must read it. I keep bumping into people who know of it”.

Amanda and I got along famously over the next few days. We had read many of the same or similar books, we held similar beliefs about the powers of the universe, we were on a similar life path. I said wasn’t it funny how I had stopped at the Irish bar even though I really wasn’t interested in the rugby. Amanda said the same: in the several weeks she had been in Nerja she had rarely been to that side of town, and she wasn’t interested in the rugby either. Amanda was going home next week too. It really felt like one of those ‘invisible threads’ I have read of, and have come to know to be true. Our souls really connected.

Amanda introduced me to an Italian restaurant I hadn’t been to before: delicious and a budget-traveller’s dream. We had some serious discussions about how our beliefs had pulled us through some tough times, and we had some right big laughs about the synchronicities and the fun games we had played with the universe and our angels.

I may not have ended up where I expected to be but I was in exactly the best place where I needed to be. I had not only made peace with where I was and how I had landed there, but I had made the conscious decision to attract the good world I wanted to see, and so it was.

“Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.”
Wayne W. Dyer

Read – When things go wrong … Part 1 and Part 2

When things go wrong … (part 3)

The problem is not the problem…

The problem is not the problem…

problem, solution, attitude, problem-solvingProblems are a part of life. They have accompanied us since birth, and will continue to do so until the twilight of our lives. But this is no reason to get upset. In fact, the thought that problems happen to absolutely everyone should come as a welcome relief.

Problems are not the result of being a bad or good person. They happen to good and bad people alike. Sometimes, even despite our best judgements and careful planning, challenges still occur in the most unexpected circumstances.

It can be easy to look around and think other people do not have problems. This is not true; they have just mastered the art of dealing with them effectively and moving more quickly towards the solution. They often recognise there are opportunities to be realised.

“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?”
Captain Jack Sparrow

Here are some tips to conquer your problems:

Trace the root of the problem.

The best way to start finding a solution to a problem is to try to figure out how the problem started in the first place. If you find yourself lost in the middle of the road, the chances are that you took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. This is why you need to go back, retrace your steps, and discover where you have gone wrong. This way you would be able to figure out which way you should go, which roads to avoid, and how to get there.

From this, you will learn how to make more effective decisions in the future.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Little problems are best dealt with by giving them a shrug of the shoulder. Having a bad hair day or breaking a nail is not reason enough to break into fits of hysteria. Sure, it is annoying; but get over it! People will be surprised how a little change in their attitude can go a long way in solving their problems.

In fact, a lot of problems people are facing will dissolve if they only change their attitude. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of their lives, and being so cynical, they should instead try to make the best out of every situation. If you are not satisfied with the situation you are in, you should strive to make some positive changes in your life.

When I find myself worrying about some things, I ask myself, “Will this matter in a year/week/day’s time?”. When I hear back the answer ‘No’, it is much easier to let go of the worry and think “This too shall pass”, making space in my head for a solution to manifest, if one is needed.

Confront your problems.

Not confronting problems can lead to bigger issues. Before problems can be solved, they must first be dealt with. For example, a person pretending not to be sick when he very well knows that he is suffering from an illness will not help him solve this problem. In fact, this will only make the situation much worse, if he refuses to seek out the medical attention that he needs.

The problem with choosing to ignore problems is that they can lead to bigger problems. Some who choose to escape their problems may turn to alcohol, drugs, or other self-destructive behaviours simply because they want to avoid the problems they are encountering. This, in turn, becomes a part of the problem. Instead of finding a solution, they find bigger problems.

Ask for help.

Strength comes in numbers. One of the best ways to quickly solve a problem is to ask for help. This is where friends and family come in. Not only will they be physically able to help you, they can also be a source of emotional help as well. Not only that, they would be able to throw in some ideas that just might be the key to finding the solution to your problem!

Having some problems does not mean that it is the end of the world. It just means that you are going to have to work hard at finding the solutions to your problems. By going through this process, not only will you solve your problems, but you can gain a lot of knowledge and wisdom along the way!

The problem is not the problem…

Turn your can’t do’s into can do’s

Didraws1“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, either way you’re right”
Henry Ford

One of Sam Berns‘ tips for a happy life was ‘turn your can’t do’s into can do’s’.

What do you often say ‘I can’t do that’ about?

Our limiting beliefs are most often caused by programming when we were younger. Of course there are many things you can do that you think or say you can’t. If it’s been done by someone else, then it is possible; anybody has the potential. It is just a question of learning, focus and practising.

Even if it hasn’t been done yet, it doesn’t mean it can’t be done. The world has only ever progressed because of the great people in history who had a vision and overcame immense criticism to show that they COULD do it. What would our world be like if the Wright Brothers had listened to and believed the naysayers that said it was impossible for us to fly in a machine?

Didraws2In my case, it was drawing. I have always said ‘I can’t draw. I can’t even draw a cat or a stick man’.

I often wanted to be able to. I admired many of the great artists and the many people around me who could produce beautiful, unique works of art.

A while ago, I was shopping and bought my young niece some colouring pencils. I felt the urge to buy some to keep at my house for when she came to visit. I often saw them on the shelf and thought ‘I’d love to be able to draw’.

Didraws3When I was at school, one year I got an A in Art. The following year, I had a different teacher and only got a D. Obviously my confidence was knocked, and I chose to think the thought I was no good at Art. I spent the next 30 years reinforcing that thought until it became the belief ‘I can’t draw’.

“If you can’t you must, and if you must you can.”
Anthony Robbins

Didraws4So, over the next few months, my eyes kept landing on these coloured pencils and I thought ‘someday I’m going to learn to draw’, until the someday arrived when I was drawn to a picture on a notebook and I thought ‘I must have a go at drawing that’.

So I did just that. After 30 years of never picking up a pencil to draw, I had a go, despite realising I didn’t have an eraser or a pencil sharpener. I could have let that become a reason to stop me having a go, but I chose to have a go anyway. The result was the picture at the top right of this page.

It actually turned out OK. So then I thought ‘Well I’ve always said I can’t even draw a cat, so let’s have a go at that’. I got onto Google Images and searched for pictures of cats. As you can see from the next picture, I can now draw a cat. I couldn’t draw a stick man, so I found pictures of people, yes ok cartoon ones, but still figures of people, just so I couldn’t say that any more.

Didraws5Then I set myself my biggest challenge. It’s all very well drawing cartoons, as even if they don’t turn out exactly the same as the picture I’m drawing, I could still get away with it looking like a character. But how would I do with drawing a picture of a real person, and could I get it to actually look like the person it’s meant to be?

So to the right here is the result of that. Can you tell who it is? Please comment.

I was pleased that most of my friends could tell who it was immediately.

I can no longer say that I can’t draw, because I CAN draw!

OK they are not going to win any awards, or sell in any galleries, but they are a first step in changing a belief. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Another thing we say is that we need to wait until other circumstances are right for us to try things. If I had waited until I had an eraser and pencil sharpener before I started, I still might be saying ‘I can’t draw’. The fact that I didn’t have an eraser made me all the more focused on getting it right the first time.

Most of all, I really enjoyed my time drawing these. Doing something that really absorbs your concentration can take your mind off other niggling little everyday stresses.

So examine the things about which you say ‘I can’t do that’ and do something to overcome that belief so you can say ‘I CAN do that!’. When you develop your CAN DO attitude, your confidence will grow in many other areas of your life.

Would you like to be able to play the guitar, swim, sing, write or dance? Just have a go, devote a bit of time and focus to it.

What does the phrase ‘I can’t do that’ stop you enjoying in your life?

 

You want inspiration? Here he is

If, like myself, you live with a chronic debilitating condition, you will know how it feels to need to completely re-evaluate your life, your dreams, your purpose and the meaning to your life. You will also probably have experienced grief for the lifestyle you once had.

However, there comes a time when the pain of living like that becomes so painful, you find a breakthrough, one that turns your whole philosophy of life on it’s head. Often, that comes from hearing or meeting someone who has experienced far more serious challenges, and makes you realise actually how very blessed you are. It may not take away the illness, but many report a drastic improvement in symptoms when you develop a positive mental attitude.

At 2 years old, Sam Berns was diagnosed with the rare disease progeria, which causes rapid aging and various other side effects. However, these challenges could not stop Sam from living a happy life. About three months before he passed away, 17-year-old Sam Berns gave this speech explaining his strategies for beating obstacles.

In my opinion, Sam’s touching, emotion-filled speech has fulfilled one of Sam’s dreams, which was to make a difference in the world.

Sam’s 3 keys to happiness:

1. Turn your ‘can’t do’s’ into ‘CAN DO’s’

2. Be with people you WANT to be with

3. Keep moving FORWARDS

Please watch the video for Sam’s BONUS keys and, more importantly, to FEEL the inspiration of his message.

Riding the wave

Riding the WaveHave you ever tried surfboarding? I haven’t tried it myself as I don’t swim (yet), but I have realised that it is a good analogy for learning how to get on, and stay on, a positive frequency in life.

It’s about learning to keep your balance when the terrain, the waves, are constantly moving. And especially important when that big rolling wave approaches. You can’t ask life to stay calm, any more than you can ask the sea to stop the waves.

You will fall off that board so many times to begin with. It takes a lot of practice. The beauty happens when you manage to stay on that board when the big wave hits, and you stay above it and you RIDE THAT WAVE!!!

That’s how I am feeling at the moment. I am on top of that wave, riding high and it becomes more and more exhilarating moment by moment.

nikhalikLast week I was blessed to meet Nik Halik, otherwise known as The Thrillionaire. He is Australia’s, and Greece’s, first civilian astronaut, and how inspirational to hear about his life. As a small child, he was unable to go to school due to ill health and allergies. His home education consisted of a set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. He would read it and think “I want to do that”, “I want to see that”, and “I want to go there”. He made a list at 8 years old, and has completed all but 2 intentions: to walk on the moon, and to live on a space station. He believes his success to be down to a lack of school and social conditioning that made him think he couldn’t do it, so he didn’t have those limitations. He is now in a position to do absolutely anything he wants to do, and he makes the most of his awesome experiences. Ask yourself, what would you do if you had no false perceptions of limitations?

This week, I have been in a live audience in a TV studio for the first time in my life. This was so exciting. It was a game show I have wanted to go on for some time, and I have applied. In the meantime, I decided I would like to be in the audience and I achieved this within a short time of setting my intention. It was a lovely drive to the other end of England, and I was very blessed to share the experience with a good friend who did the driving. I booked the hotel, which turned out to be really classy and comfortable, with delicious food in the restaurant. As a bonus, it turned out to be the same hotel the TV show contestants were staying in, so we had a great evening chatting with them too. It really feels like being on the show is getting closer to me.

Lovely as it is to visit new places and meet great people, it is also so comforting to get back home and take time to recharge one’s batteries. I discovered that Season 11 of Healing with the Masters is in progress, and this is just what I needed. 27 inspiring talks by some of the world’s most spiritual, motivating teachers and they are FREE to listen to. I have listened to the last 4 or 5 seasons and there is ALWAYS something in them that I believe I am meant to hear at that time, I call them my ‘golden nuggets’. Some of the teachers yet to present are:

* Margaret Lynch – one of my favourite EFT teachers and author of ‘The Secret of Intentional Wealth’. Heralded as “The Personal Power Rock Star” Margaret M. Lynch has x-ray vision for seeing the fears and limiting beliefs that keep success minded people limited in their money and personal power. An accomplished Success Coach, Transformational Speaker and author, Margaret delivers high-impact transformation that clears the inner blocks to wealth and personal power and creates the “on-fire enthusiasm and charisma” that is key to skyrocketing wealth.

* John Gray – John Gray, Ph.D. is the best‐selling relationship author of all time and the most trusted voice in relationships today. He is the author of 17 books, including The New York Times #1 Best‐Selling Book of the last decade, MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS. His 17 books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages around the world.

And my plan for this weekend? Laughter Yoga! If you haven’t tried this, oh you must. If you want to instantly brighten your day up and move to a new, better energy frequency, you just can’t help yourself with laughter yoga. One of my local parks is running 3 free sessions and I am going to be there for every one of them. Sooooo looking forward to this.

Try it. I challenge you not to laugh and have a great day after this.

So, when you find your balance, forget those limitations and RIDE THAT WAVE! 😀