Life is like an onion
When you decide that you are not satisfied with your life as it is, and resolve that you want to change it, the most important part of changing your life lies in changing your thoughts, which have created your beliefs, and thus influence your actions.
You have to free yourself from the mental bondage which is holding you where are you.
Positive thinking and affirmation will go a long way towards changing your mindset, but for some it just doesn’t feel ‘true’, and when that happens you create resistance. It’s no good affirming to yourself ‘I am abundant in all areas of my life’ if your head is saying ‘Well that’s bullshit!’.
So what causes your head to resist positive affirmation? The memories that have stored themselves in the layers of your subconscious. So why would your subconscious do this to you? Surely it should help you and work for your benefit? Well, it actually believes it is doing just that. It tries to stop you from being hurt or disappointed again.
You can positively affirm all you like. It’s a great start. But it took time to develop your current mindset, and to change or improve it could take a long time too, because your subconscious will try to keep protecting you and nag you to do what it’s always done.
A bit like having a stain on your carpet: you could cover it with a rug or a plant pot. But you will always know the stain is there, and every so often you will trip up on the rug or the plant pot. Using this analogy, you can’t go out and buy a new carpet (buy a new mind). The only way to cure the problem is to get that stain removed, and it may take a lot of scrubbing.
Like an onion, our subconscious has created layers. Something happened when we were a child to make us have a reactive emotion. Sometime later another incident happens that reinforces that feeling. We accept it as the way we are. We come to believe that thought, feeling, emotion is ‘normal’ for us.
The layers build as we get older, and the thoughts, beliefs and resulting actions shape our lives. They become part of our substance. Then by accepting the thoughts as true, we attract further evidence to support the belief; thoughts like ‘That always happens to me’, ‘I’m just unlucky’, ‘I always get hurt’.
Life IS abundant. It is only our resistance to that belief that pushes abundance away.
To truly heal your subconscious, involves doing some self-inquiry as to why you might think a thought.
Think of the most recent incident that caused a thought. For instance, you didn’t get a promotion at work or you lost your job. Your first thoughts may be, ‘I’m not good enough’, or ‘They didn’t appreciate me, even though I worked really hard’.
Then look for more instances where you might have had that same thought. It could be something like you having cooked a new recipe up, and your partner saying ‘Yeah it was OK’, or ‘I’m not really keen on that (ingredient), or not offering any positive feedback. Or maybe you’ve made a mistake with something and you thought ‘It’s no good, I’m just not good enough. I’ve failed’.
You need to really peel back the layers. Go back as far as you can. As with peeling an onion, there will be tears. It will be painful. You may fight with your subconscious much of the way. It’s trying to protect you. It will bury the thoughts even deeper. It doesn’t want you to feel hurt.
You may find it takes you back to a very young age, probably before the age of seven, which is when most of our downloading and programming took place, as our brain was working in theta brainwave state (the state used for learning, and also for hypnosis), so we soaked it all up like a sponge. It could have been something we may consider as relatively harmless, e.g. you draw a lovely picture for mum, she’s busy on the phone, or cooking dinner, or just generally tired from ‘being mum’ all day. She says “Not now, can’t you see I’m busy/tired”. To a child, this can be programmed as ‘I’m not important’, ‘I did something nice, and she doesn’t even want it’. Perhaps you did something naughty as a child, or were mistaken for being naughty (as many ‘normal’ children do!), and were sent to your room with words like, ‘You’re not having dessert, you don’t deserve it’.
Then comes the important bit: you need to practise forgiveness on every aspect you uncover. You need to peel and heal every layer.
A wonderful technique for this is called ‘ho’oponopono’. It is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness.
It consists of 4 statements:
- I love you.
- I’m sorry.
- Please forgive me.
- Thank you.
On every aspect you uncover, say these like a mantra. Even better if you can just use them as a meditation. Relax with some soothing music and repeat the mantra over and over. You don’t have to always be thinking of something or someone specifically, although it is powerful if you do. You can address the mantra to another person, to yourself, to your younger self/child. You are addressing this more to your own subconscious, letting it know it is safe to release those thoughts now.
My personal favourites are Cosmic Ordering: The Next Step by Barbel Mohr and anything by Dr Joe Vitale.Life is like an onion