The problem is not the problem…

The problem is not the problem…

problem, solution, attitude, problem-solvingProblems are a part of life. They have accompanied us since birth, and will continue to do so until the twilight of our lives. But this is no reason to get upset. In fact, the thought that problems happen to absolutely everyone should come as a welcome relief.

Problems are not the result of being a bad or good person. They happen to good and bad people alike. Sometimes, even despite our best judgements and careful planning, challenges still occur in the most unexpected circumstances.

It can be easy to look around and think other people do not have problems. This is not true; they have just mastered the art of dealing with them effectively and moving more quickly towards the solution. They often recognise there are opportunities to be realised.

“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?”
Captain Jack Sparrow

Here are some tips to conquer your problems:

Trace the root of the problem.

The best way to start finding a solution to a problem is to try to figure out how the problem started in the first place. If you find yourself lost in the middle of the road, the chances are that you took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. This is why you need to go back, retrace your steps, and discover where you have gone wrong. This way you would be able to figure out which way you should go, which roads to avoid, and how to get there.

From this, you will learn how to make more effective decisions in the future.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Little problems are best dealt with by giving them a shrug of the shoulder. Having a bad hair day or breaking a nail is not reason enough to break into fits of hysteria. Sure, it is annoying; but get over it! People will be surprised how a little change in their attitude can go a long way in solving their problems.

In fact, a lot of problems people are facing will dissolve if they only change their attitude. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of their lives, and being so cynical, they should instead try to make the best out of every situation. If you are not satisfied with the situation you are in, you should strive to make some positive changes in your life.

When I find myself worrying about some things, I ask myself, “Will this matter in a year/week/day’s time?”. When I hear back the answer ‘No’, it is much easier to let go of the worry and think “This too shall pass”, making space in my head for a solution to manifest, if one is needed.

Confront your problems.

Not confronting problems can lead to bigger issues. Before problems can be solved, they must first be dealt with. For example, a person pretending not to be sick when he very well knows that he is suffering from an illness will not help him solve this problem. In fact, this will only make the situation much worse, if he refuses to seek out the medical attention that he needs.

The problem with choosing to ignore problems is that they can lead to bigger problems. Some who choose to escape their problems may turn to alcohol, drugs, or other self-destructive behaviours simply because they want to avoid the problems they are encountering. This, in turn, becomes a part of the problem. Instead of finding a solution, they find bigger problems.

Ask for help.

Strength comes in numbers. One of the best ways to quickly solve a problem is to ask for help. This is where friends and family come in. Not only will they be physically able to help you, they can also be a source of emotional help as well. Not only that, they would be able to throw in some ideas that just might be the key to finding the solution to your problem!

Having some problems does not mean that it is the end of the world. It just means that you are going to have to work hard at finding the solutions to your problems. By going through this process, not only will you solve your problems, but you can gain a lot of knowledge and wisdom along the way!

The problem is not the problem…

Gratitude Linkup #1

Gratitude Linkup

gratitude, gratitude linkupHey, you know I’m big on Gratitude. I think it’s the one best thing for achieving happiness in life: if you’re grateful, life gives you more to be grateful for.

Well, Laurel Regan has given us a really great idea: she has started this Gratitude Linkup, where we can share our gratefulness. Sometimes we don’t realise how really grateful we are for things we sometimes take for granted. Sharing our gratitude will help make us more aware of the abundance we have to be grateful for, as well as increasing our collective energy vibration.

I do hope you’ll join me in this Gratitude Linkup 😀

How to get involved in the Gratitude Linkup

  1. Write and post an entry in your own blog containing your gratitude list for a moment in time.
  2. Share the URL to your gratitude blog post by clicking the “add your link” button at the end of this post and filling out the information.
  3. Share the Gratitude Linkup with your blog readers by clicking the “get the InLinkz code” link at the end of this post and copy/pasting the appropriate code into your gratitude blog post.
  4. Visit some of the blogs listed in the Gratitude Linkup and comment on their posts.

My Gratitude List

In no particular order, here are just some of the things I am grateful for right now.

  • A warm, comfortable, safe home, especially in wintertime
  • Eyes to read and hands to write with
  • Good, wholesome, hot food
  • Knowing my children are always safe, happy and healthy
  • Good people, online and offline, who support me in so many ways
  • Stories of humanity that warm my heart and soul
  • The ability and means to travel to Spain to visit family and friends
  • My Kindle so I can take a whole library with me wherever I go
  • Lovely hot, soothing baths
  • Daily opportunities to learn and develop
  • Free webinars where I enjoy learning from experts and heart-centred teachers on all sorts of topics that interest me

What’s on your gratitude list today? Please share!

get the InLinkz code

Gratitude Linkup

Get your regular dose of humanity

Get your regular dose of humanity

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.”― John Bunyan

James saw a Facebook post about some deer stuck out on the ice in the middle of Albert Lea Lake, so he called up his dad and they got out their hovercraft and went to the rescue.

Get your regular dose of humanity

The elephant and the chain: what binds your mind?

The elephant and the chain: what binds your mind?

elephant and the chain, elephant, chainAn elephant is chained to a stake as a baby so he will not run away. He is “trained” for the circus, and to do tricks. As he grows they use a larger chain, but he is already “programmed” to be held in place by the chain. The elephant then grows up to full size. He is awesome, powerful and strong. He can easily break the chain and be free. But he has been taught to be chained. Imagine that! An animal of great strength and power, totally unaware he can break free AT ANY TIME from the chain that binds him. He could easily get away, but his mind has him bound.

Moral of the story: You are the elephant. Your mind is the chain.

Like the elephant, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? Or stay in a situation we do not like, because we think we have no choice?

What was once true is no longer true. The chains are as imaginary as the ‘pink elephant’. You are bigger and stronger than you were before. More powerful than you realise.

Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life. We can be free of our chains, the moment we change our mind. What is holding you back?

The elephant and the chain: what binds your mind?

Happy Valentine’s Day: a gift from The Art of Love

Happy Valentine’s Day: a gift from The Art of Love

attract your soulmate now, the art of love, valentine s day, happy valentines dayAttract Your Soulmate Now!

The producers of The Art of Love are Excited to Give You FREE Access to the entire Attract Your Soulmate Now! Series for Two Full Days from Friday, February 14th through Sunday, February 16th at 9am Pacific Time!

Just CLICK HERE for FREE streaming of all 28 interviews with leading relationship and lifestyle mentors and coaches.

Happy Valentine’s Day: a gift from The Art of Love

Desiderata: a manifesto for peace

Desiderata: a manifesto for peace

desiderata, max ehrmann, life manifesto“Desiderata” was written in 1927. However, it was largely unknown during Ehrmann’s lifetime, gaining popularity in the early 1970’s.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, “Desiderata”

“Desiderata” was written in 1927. However, it was largely unknown during Ehrmann’s lifetime, gaining popularity in the early 1970’s.

It is my view, since learning about the universal laws, that there was a shift in consciousness around the 1920’s, that led to the emergence of several ‘New Age/New Thought’ writers: Napoleon Hill “Think and Grow Rich”, Florence Scovel Shinn “The Game of Life and How to Play It”, and Neville Goddard “The Law and The Promise” to name but a few. And of course it was around this decade too, that Albert Einstein began his studies and experiments of energy and universal forces.

I don’t find it entirely surprising that ‘Desiderata’ was rediscovered in the early 1970’s, following the next biggest shift in consciousness in the 60’s. We all know about ‘flower power’, the peace movement, and the song words ‘This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius‘.

Now, just as there was a 40-50 year gap in those major universal shifts, some 40-50 years on from the 60’s, we are experiencing another huge awakening, with the re-emergence of these powerful teachings and more. Indeed, it is believed that this was what the 2012 phenomena was all about. Rather than the apocalyptic or cataclysmic event many thought it was, it was an indicator of the hugely transformative stage we are now entering.

When you look at the 1920’s and 1960’s, what you see is a ‘break from the norm’, people stepping out and saying ‘this is how we want to live’. Look at the difference between the 1920’s and the Victorian values of less than 20 years previously. People became more free in their expression, this was shown in the big changes in fashion (especially for women), music, society.

Again, the colourful 1960’s were hugely different from the quite stuffy 1950’s, with large groups of people asserting their desire for freedom of expression, and wanting major changes in the world culture, and doing it in as peaceful a way as possible.

I see this happening now: people are wanting their freedoms back and are wanting to do it in the free and easy, peaceful way which has been proven to work before. People are becoming more creative, more humanitarian, more meditative, more ecological, wanting a return to a natural world of healthy, local-grown food rather than the factory-produced, chemical-laced crap that has become prevalent and caused a dumbing-down of society. People are realising their own power to create the lives they want.

The world has always progressed and improved after such a transformation. The populace realises how disempowered it has become through fear, control and weakness, then finds the strength to take its power back, and the only way that can happen is creating peace with peace. That is when the world moves forward.

Find Napoleon Hill “Think and Grow Rich” at Amazon.com (Amazon.co.uk)

Find Florence Scovel Shinn “The Game of Life and How to Play It” at Amazon.com (Amazon.co.uk)

Find Neville Goddard “The Law and The Promise at Amazon.com (Amazon.co.uk)

You can also CLICK HERE to instantly access a FREE PDF version of The Law and The Promise (no sign-up or personal details required). To download to your computer, right-click on the above link and ‘Save link/target as…’.

Desiderata: a manifesto for peace

No News Is Good News

No News Is Good News

no news is good news, turn off the news, negative messages, positive thinkingDid you watch the news on television today? Did you hear it on the radio? Did you happen to listen to your favourite talk radio show today? Watch a movie? A soap opera? A ‘reality’ TV show? Read a celebrity gossip magazine? Do you feel good because of it?

What effect do these things have on us in our daily lives? Do they invoke a positive mental attitude? Probably not. The problem with the media in most formats today is that it is comprised of every negative image and idea that exists and is yet to exist.

Even a lot of the comedy shows have a negative message. Why is this?

How do we balance these negative messages in our lives? How do we counter the crap that is being fed to us? Do we immerse ourselves in motivational books and tapes? If not, maybe we should.

The healthy function of our minds is dependent upon input. If the only, or majority, input that we have is negative, our output can tend to be negative as well. Garbage in, garbage out. My grandmother used to warn me that the type of people that I surrounded myself with is the type of person I would become. She was right to a great degree. It is also true that the type of materials to which we expose our minds is the type of thinking that we will practice in our daily lives. Perhaps you question that logic, but let me go on.

When the mainstream media has been confronted in the past about the content of their shows, they claim that just because you watch a violent film, you won’t become violent. This may be true, but as you continuously immerse yourself in violent content, you begin to become numb to the violence itself. You also absorb messages about living in a fearful world.

Such as that is, the more negative the constant input in your life, the harder it becomes to be positive or think positive thoughts. As a creative individual, I often need a bit of inspiration in my daily life. To get this inspiration, I look at other writers work. After a while I am influenced by what I have seen to create my own work.

The same can be said for a positive attitude. If we reach a point in our day when we feel like we can’t go on with our work, sometimes all we need is a bit of inspiration to get back on track. Often this inspiration gives us that “a-ha” moment that we need to get back on the rails.

Now I am not saying that you should have a constant diet of positive attitude books and CD’s. There are other things that can reinforce us in our daily tasks. Aside from personal development materials, there is also the development of our business or our skills. This type of information can be found in books, magazines, on cd, dvd, cassette tapes or the internet.

Often when we learn more about our work and how to do it better, we are more successful at performing necessary tasks. This success in itself is empowering and can lead to a more positive attitude.

I switched off my television several months ago, and it has only been switched on rarely, maybe three times in as many months, if I have heard about a nature or science documentary that sounds interesting to watch. Instead of watching TV, I have read lots of books, worked on my blog and other writing projects, completed internet video courses on promotion and marketing, self-publishing, and setting up a YouTube channel. I have listened to lots of webinars about natural health and wellbeing, and if I have wanted some light entertainment, I have found funny or uplifting films to watch online. I don’t even miss watching TV anymore (I think I shall see about cancelling my TV license and saving some money into the bargain).

In actual fact, during this period of restricting the invitation of negativity into my life, I have found that I have become more sensitive to it when it happens, like it insults my brain and my soul. I would catch snippets of the news on the radio in my car, and would feel the impact on my energy level so much that I have learned to quickly hit the radio knob to OFF when the news comes on, and so far I know I have not missed anything that I really needed to know, nothing that has had any direct influence on my life.

It doesn’t have to be all work and mental stimulation. Stopping watching TV allows you more time to engage in outside activities, like walks in nature, exercise or social groups. When you become more aware of, and focus on and appreciate the beauty and positivity all around you, which was there all the time, you just didn’t notice it, it becomes easier to practise positive thinking.

As we go through our day we should try to be aware of the influences that our surroundings are having on us. We should be careful to monitor the types of input that we are getting and balance it with as much positive material as possible. In doing this not only can we feel better about ourselves and our world, but we will also be more productive and feel happier at the same time.

No News Is Good News

Beating the Internal Bully

Beating the Internal Bully

beating the internal bully, internal dialogue, how do you speak to yourself
Photo courtesy of
Zen to Zany

Every day you are talking to yourself in your head.  Often you are doing this unconsciously without really being aware of what you are doing.  Discover how this affects your life and how you can change it.

There are many things that drive people to success, and a key factor is what is known as ‘internal dialogue’. This is the dialogue that is constantly playing inside your head. It’s the voice that starts talking as soon as you do something, meet someone, or think about anything.

In many cases, this voice can be destructive and knock you down, though it is possible to quite easily harness this internal dialogue and use it to propel you to the success you desire and deserve.

You may notice that on occasion the voice is negative in what it says. For example, you see something you really want to buy and it says, “You can’t afford that.” Or you see someone you are really attracted to and the voice says, “They’re way out of your league, they’ll never go for someone like you.”

At it’s worst, and most destructive, it beats you with words like “You’re not good enough”, “You don’t deserve to be happy”, and it is this internal bully saying “You’re too fat” or “Why don’t you look like her/him?”, that causes conditions like eating disorders and depression.

We sometimes speak to ourselves in a way we would not allow others to speak to us. If a friend spoke to us in this way, we would not be friends with them for very long.

Quite obviously, this does nothing to make your life any better. Therefore, why not change the content of the voice? When it says something negative, counter it with a positive suggestion. For example, when the voice says, “You can’t afford that.” Respond mentally in a firm and positive voice with something like, “How can I afford it?” A question that empowers you and propels you into positive action. Or train yourself to positively affirm “I’m perfect just the way I am”, because everybody IS uniquely perfect.

This may take some time, and you may notice initially you do not always catch the voice and correct it. However, keep it up and before you know it, you will have changed the negative dialogue into a positive, empowering one.

You can also change the tone of the voice. What would happen if instead of the usual tone of voice saying, “I can’t afford it” you hear the voice of Homer Simpson, or Donald Duck, or any comic character saying it? You certainly wouldn’t listen to the voice and take it seriously, you would laugh at it and it’s power over you would be broken.

This technique can be extended to helping you motivate yourself to do something. When faced with the washing up, what do you hear in your head? Do you hear a whiny voice saying something like, “You really ought to do the washing up or you’ll get into trouble” or a commanding and scary voice saying, “Wash up NOW!”?

What would happen if the voice were a soft and really seductive voice speaking in your head? The sort of voice that gives you shivers down your back. What if it said something like, “Let’s do the washing up big boy.”? How would that motivate you?

Stephen King, the author, uses this technique with his writing. When he has to write he hears this very loud and powerful voice shouting at him as if through a megaphone saying something like, “WRITE NOW!!!!!” It almost scares him in to writing.

However, you don’t need to scare yourself into action. You can change your internal dialogue to be anything you want; whatever works best for you to motivate you and help you to get where you want to be.

Listen to your internal dialogue and play with changing the tone, volume and tempo to find the type of voice that works best for you. Create a number of different types of voices, one for motivation, one to stop you doing things, one to make you feel loved, one to make you feel happy and so on.

Mastering your internal dialogue is a major key in mastering your life.

Beating the Internal Bully 

Gratitude rocks! Live it!

Gratitude rocks!

Gratitude rocksI know I have written about gratitude several times before, because it really is the greatest life-changer. My favourite topic, it is the easiest switch you can flick to turn on the magnetic attraction for more great things to come to you to feel grateful for.

Gratitude is one of the most powerful forces in the Universe. It may not look as good as money, a big car, a palatial house, or the latest makeover – in fact, you can’t see it at all – but, as I’m going to show you, gratitude has more power to change your life than all these material things put together.

The dictionary tells us that gratitude is “the expression of gratefulness and thanks” but this doesn’t begin to convey its real effect. Here are an alternative set of definitions.

  • Gratitude stops you taking your life for granted and helps you realize how many good things you have in your life.
  • Gratitude makes others feel better.
  • Gratitude makes you feel better. In the words of an Arabian proverb, “The hand that gives the roses always keeps some of the scent.”
  • Gratitude raises your awareness of things around you.
  • Gratitude is easy, quick, and simple.
  • Gratitude is an instant blues-breaker and stress-reliever.
  • Gratitude changes your view of so-called “bad” things.
  • Gratitude frees you from petty annoyances.
  • Gratitude inspires you.
  • Gratitude puts your thoughts and feelings on a high vibration level that in turn attracts back to you more things to be grateful for.
  • Gratitude nourishes the soul.
  • Gratitude is like compound interest on money in the bank: the more you put in, the more you get out.

That’s the “what” of gratitude. To show you the “how”, here are three things you can do to make the Gratitude Attitude a firm fixture in your life.

gratitude rocks, thankful1. Create a Thank Bank. A Thank Bank is simply a place where you can jot down all the things that you are grateful for in your life. You can split the bank into different accounts such as Family, Surroundings and Work, and then simply start writing out your thanks until you stop. Put your list somewhere safe and pull it out when you’re feeling down and you’ll instantly change your mood.

2. Show Gratitude Quietly. Don’t turn gratitude into a promotional or motivational tool. Too much thanks is as ineffective as too little. Instead, express your thanks in quiet ways: a thought, a prayer, a one-on-one word, a note of appreciation. Give people gifts of thanks that aren’t bought at shops: a bit of your time, a sacrifice, something valuable to you.

3. Always Replace the 3 C’s With the 3 A’s. If you work or manage others, and sometimes feel the need to use one of the 3 C’s – complaining, condemning, and criticising – replace them with the 3 A’s of Accepting, Acknowledging, and Appreciating. Accept people for who they are; acknowledge them for what they do; and appreciate them for just being around. Remember that when you appreciate others, your reputation and respect appreciates too.

There’s nothing complicated about gratitude. It’s something we can all do. We so often don’t do it because we forget, because we focus on the few so-called bad things in our lives, and because we take the wonderful things for granted. So change your life. Put gratitude just below your level of consciousness, and every day will become one of joy and delight.

Gratitude rocks!